Let me begin by saying that I am a full time pastor with close to 10 years in ministry; so my perspective of the things you will not hear in church comes from me spending the majority of my life listening to thousands of sermons.
In any sermon on marriage, you will hear the token things when it comes to sex. Sex is important for an healthy marriage; some ministers will even teach that Christian couples should be having better sex than those in the World. But, there are some sexual secrets you will rarely get from the pulpit. Here are my top 7:
1. Sex was made for pleasure just as much as it was made for procreation.
God created our bodies with great intelligence which means every function and capability comes with a purpose.
The indicator that God created sex for more than just procreation is the fact that both men and women’s bodies have the ability to climax into an orgasm. The orgasm experience is very healthy for both men and women.
The fact that it is much more challenging for a woman to attain an orgasm than a man shows God’s intelligent design. When men pay closer attention to their wives’ emotional needs, it results in a stronger connection and ultimately a better orgasmic experience.
2. Couples that schedule sex have the most sex.
Anything in life that matters whether it be work meetings, your kid’s sports games, or your doctor’s appointments all would be missed if its not written down on a schedule.
When you schedule something you are giving it value and respect. Yet many couples refuse to schedule sex.
Many will say that scheduling sex reduces the spontaneity.
However, when you schedule sex, schedule the minimum. This then leaves room for spontaneous nights…or mornings…or…
By scheduling sex in your relationship, you are setting an expectation for when you will engage one another intimately and this is a healthy lifeline for your marriage.
3. Great sex requires great foreplay.
There is no great sex without amazing foreplay.
Foreplay, such as the following, can actually begin before you get into the bedroom:
- Text messages
- Simple touches throughout the day
- Helping each other out with various tasks
All of these are examples of foreplay which increase longing and physical desire.