by Jon Carroll
Early on in our relationship, my wife Nkechi and I came to an agreement that at some point we would adopt a child into our family. We have both been blessed with the type of cultural capital that can certainly make a positive impact on a child’s life. On March 14, after almost a year of going through the adoption process, we received the call that there was a baby available for us. We brought Elijah Emeka home on March 15, and have been “enjoying” newborn life ever since. In the wake of our new
arrival, many have asked about the process out of curiosity. Below are a few tips that I would offer to any family considering this route to parenthood.
1. Determine your route to adoption ““ There are a number of ways to pursue adoption. For us, it came down to selecting a private organization or going through our local Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS). The private organizations insure that parental rights of the birth mother are severed by the time the baby arrives, and this costs money. With Child Services, you start as a foster family and move towards adoption. This means that a birth mother can have the baby returned to her if she proves she can provide a stable home.
2. Be clear about who you are as potential adoptive parents ““ At some point you will have to communicate your reasons for wanting to adopt and describe the type of lifestyle you can provide for a child. You and your partner must be clear about what you are able to handle as parents and the resources/support you have at your disposal. Can you attend to a child with special needs? Would you be able to accommodate a physically challenged child? Can you make the lifestyle adjustments to promote the identity development of a child with a different ethnicity than yours? These are all issues that couples must be prepared to address, as they will impact how quickly a child may come to you.
3. Have your plan ready ““ Depending on the route you choose, you may be required to have your house certified and ready to accept a child. This was certainly the case for us working with DCFS in Los Angeles. As an aside, you will be surprised the number of changes you have to make to your home, particularly if you already have children. Beyond having your home dwelling ready, it is beneficial to think ahead to how things will work with an additional child in the house in terms of daycare/school, childcare, etc. When you are waiting to adopt, the call can come at any time, which will cause an immediate adjustment. The more forethought you have put into your life once the child arrives, the easier the transition will be.
Find out more about Jon Carroll and his wife at their website, A Breath of Fresh Air with Jon and Nkechi.
Katina says
How exciting!We have 1 that we adopted 11 years ago and now we on baby # 2 and he is 8 months. Did I mention we have 4 biological between the ages 18-21! God is good!
Jon Carroll says
God bless you and your husband for continuing to open your home to nurture and raise our future leaders
Family of Color says
I’m so glad to read about more parents of color adopting. Congrats on your little one! We’ve just started our process with our county foster care agency, but we look forward to holding a baby in our arms.