He must recognize his role as leader does not negate his spouse’s role as a strong and viable partner. Teach him that he must be very instrumental in creating and implementing his family’s spiritual plan. Share with him that it is critical that his family knows that he is faithful and spiritually sound. Tell him that a family that prays together, stays together. Let him know that it is indeed a good thing for his family to see him openly worship, pray, praise and be a blessing to others. Share with him that he must lead his family in prayer and teach his children to pray and give thanks.
Lead by Example
Mothers share with your sons that if they want their children to value education, that they must show an interest and take an active role in their education. Tell them that if they want their children to value hard work and be upstanding contributing members of society, that they themselves must be the example and model what that looks like. Mothers express to your sons that if they want to be viewed as the leaders in their home they must not make excuses, shy away from their responsibilities, or blame others for their failed choices. Tell them they must instead consistently and courageously show up and do the work daily even when they don’t want to.
Why Leaders Can Be Flexible
Mothers please teach your sons that being a good spouse means being flexible. We all are defined by and locked into the way that we were raised. This can be especially true of men as it relates to roles and responsibilities the sexes play in relationships. For instance, if a man grew up in a two parent home in which the mother prepared all of the meals or a single parent home in which the male children were not given the responsibility of cooking, he may very well hold the belief that cooking is solely the woman’s responsibility.
Mothers you have to teach your sons that their future spouse will come with her own set of expectations based on her rearing and life experiences. Teach him that he must be flexible enough to collaborate with his spouse and collectively define what is right for their relationship. Teach him to be strong and secure enough to not blindly defer to and be confined by his family history nor defined by societal norms as the only way to do things. Teach him that he has to be receptive to creating the relationship fabric that works for his family and not succumb to peer pressure or dated thinking. As it could be very possible that his future spouse was raised in a family in which her father was a great cook and prepared all of the meals, and her mother enjoyed doing all of the yard work from mowing the lawn to maintaining the landscape.
Mothers it is not an easy task to raise our sons to be someone’s spouse and not someone’s burden. In order to do this we must cease doing things for them that will hinder their growth. We must raise them knowing that one day they will be first responsible for themselves and then a family. Mothers, ours sons are not puppets created just for our joy and entertainment. Nor are they created to fill our empty spaces. It is our job to teach and guide them and then release them into the world to stand on their own and soar. Mothers, we have great influence over our sons so be sure to use your power in a manner that best serves him and sets him up for success.
BMWK Single and Married mothers are you raising the type of sons that you would want your daughters to marry?
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