I have always had a very open relationship with my mother. She calls me sister-daughter and she’s my sister-mom. Although she had me at 24, she always made the lines clear: she was my mother, and yet, she found a way to also become my friend. I wasn’t a trouble maker by any stretch of the imagination, but when I found myself doing something I knew I shouldn’t have been doing, I was sure to receive discipline for it. When things would happen at school or in my life, she’s always been the first person I wanted to tell. “Ooh, mommy, guess what happened with so and so?!” When other “best friends” have come and go, my mom has been there, always.
I was fortunate enough to have four parents: my mom, my dad, my stepmom, and my stepdad. When the other 3 have disappointed, my mom has reigned supreme. Even with both of my stepparents no longer active in my life, and my dad and I not having the best relationship, she doesn’t bash them. She just goes over and beyond what’s required as a mother. She’s always been my biggest cheerleader, supporting my dreams, and understanding if I changed my mind along the way.
No relationship is perfect. We’ve had our disagreements, and full on arguments. There have been times where we didn’t see eye to eye, and since we’re both stubborn, we each let the other one have it. Voices have escalated, tears have dropped, but I have never disrespected my mother. Although the line may be blurred to some, it’s always been clear to me. It may be war when we’re fighting, but those bouts are few and far between.
In 2009, I had the scare of my life. My mom got really sick, and we were in the hospital once or twice a week from May to August. She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure on top of the many other ailments she already had. There was a few points in those months where I was very close to losing my mother. That would have been an absolutely devastating blow. Many people lose their mother, but how many lose their mom, their sister, and their best friend in the same sitting? I’m so blessed that God stepped in and she made a full recovery.
I’ve been going through a lot lately, and it’s been very hard on me. Throughout it all, my mom has been there to pick me up. This morning, she sent an open letter expressing how proud she is of me, how much she admires me, and how she encourages me to do what I need to do to get better. What a heart warmer and tear jerker. She applauds me, but she’s the one who should be applauded. I wouldn’t be here without her, in more ways than one.
My hope is that I can be half the mother to my future children that she has been to me. I don’t know how that’s even possible, as I’m her only child, but she’s been the same kind of mom to her stepsons. There will be one day where I may have to proceed without her, and I’ve joked that her and I will just have to go on the same day, I won’t have it any other way. But should that day come, I believe she has made me into a remarkable young woman.
If you’re blessed enough to have your mom here, cherish every moment. You only get one, and I’m confident I have the best.
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