Every person, every psychologist and every marriage counselor has an opinion on what makes a good marriage. Can we agree that part of a good marriage includes love, honesty and openness?

However, does this mean should you know everything about your mate? Is it necessary to know all that happened in their life before they met you? Is it realistic to know your mate inside and out while also knowing their thoughts and dreams?

Your spouse’s past will influence your life together. As well, their aspirations for the future will affect your tomorrow. Given this, you should genuinely share and get to know as much about each other as possible. However, your mate is not a fish to be filleted, where you dissect each part of them while at the same time expecting them to give and tell you more.

Getting to know each other on an intimate nonphysical level is a building block that supports a healthy relationship. It should be natural not forced. The more you talk and share, the more you find out about one another. Would you agree?

You won’t know everything about your mate at once. Your mate is a never ending book with new chapters being added daily. After almost three decades of marriage, my husband and I still don’t know everything about each other.  Though we are still learning one another, the key is there is nothing to hide.

Hiding means secrets. Secrets can be devastating to a marriage. This being said, should you know EVERYTHING about your mate? Well, EVERYTHING comes with qualifications and forewarnings.

1. Be sure you are really ready to handle what your mate shares if you are encouraging them to tell you all.
2. Be confident you are sharing appropriate things out of love and not to hurt one another.
3. Be certain you are listening with love and not judgment.

For example: When it comes to past relationships, be cautious and thoughtful in your sharing. If your mate was married before, you don’t need to know how many times a week they had sexual relations; but you do need to know about the present relationship with your mate and his/her ex-wife/-husband.

When two people take things to the next level and make a lifelong commitment to marriage, with it comes, the expectations that we will share our lives together past, present and future. Your heart is eternally intertwined with your mate.

As stated earlier, your mate is like a never ending book. This means there is always something new to learn and discover. Spend time being curious, and you will learn everything you need to know in the process.

I have a question for you. If you knew everything there was to know about your mate, would you have reason to keep exploring their soul and searching their heart?