“Men are supposed to be the hunters” is what a lot of people will say. According to these people, it is your job as a man to initiate the pursuit of a woman, and to put in maximum effort to show her you want her. To some extent, I completely understand that perception. But it can reach a point where it becomes flawed.
A man should definitely be willing to do his part in the process of finding a good woman. However, he should not have to chase after any woman. So much wrong can occur for a man by over doing his pursuit to get to know someone, and create a relationship with them. This doesn’t mean every situation ends with negative results, but here are three reasons why, in most cases, chasing after a woman should be avoided.
There’s a Thin Line Between Desire & Desperation
Everybody likes to feel desired. There is absolutely nothing wrong with showing someone you want them and truly want to be with them. However, there is a line that gets crossed when your pursuit turns into chasing. At first, it may not seem too bad, but as mentioned in my book He Who Finds A Wife, a man will eventually start to look desperate (thirsty), and women do not find that attractive.
As a man, you have to find the right amount of showing effort and desire, without taking things unnecessarily too far. If a woman isn’t receptive to your efforts, then she likely just isn’t interested. If she does have some interest, but thinks a man is supposed to chase after her, then take heed to what’s next on this list.
It’s a Sign of Trouble to Come
How you start can be exactly how you finish. When finding yourself in the position of chasing after a woman, you have to understand what you may be setting the stage for. If you succeed in getting her, are you prepared to have a dynamic where you are constantly expected to make more of an effort than she is? If not, then you may want to pump the brakes on this chasing thing.
I am in no way saying this is how it always plays out for a man who chased after a woman, but it certainly is how things go for a lot of men who have. Many have found themselves in a relationship or marriage where the burden of effort is constantly placed on them, while the woman gets to take a wait and see approach. This only leads to bigger issues and more frustration later. A scenario you really will not want to deal with.
An Unnecessary Distraction
You know when you chase something, you become very focused on it. At times, the desire to catch what you’re chasing will start to consume you. This is not going to be in your best interest. When you are chasing after a woman, you have now taken your eyes off the bigger prize, which is your growth as a man.
You will be so caught up in trying to find ways to get her, that you may essentially lose yourself in the chase. To make matters worse, if she isn’t truly the one for you, then you are only hindering your ability to receive the one who is. So one way or another, you will now be getting in your own way. And if that chase doesn’t get you what you wanted, then you’ll likely end up hurt, damaged, and deflated from the process.
Ultimately you are better served staying focused on what you need to do in your life. If she is interested, then let her meet you half way. If she can’t do that, then she is either not ready, not interested enough, or simply looking to take advantage of your desire for her. Continue to work on being the best man you can be, and in doing that, you will be able to attract the woman who is truly best for you….and you won’t have to chase her, because you two will be running towards each other to build a great and special relationship.
BMWK, Do you ever see the value of chasing after women?