I don’t write very many articles for singles because it has been more than 18 years since I’ve been single. Therefore, I tend to keep my focus and my curiosity on all things marriage. Well, that was until this past weekend.
After a recent ladies’ night out with my girlfriends, a few interesting thoughts surfaced. First, dating overall has changed. Second, the single woman has evolved. Third, that three-month rule is basically non-existent. Today’s single woman, isn’t really how I remembered her. Again, bear with me because it’s been a while.
My single friends gave me an earful and really broke down what dating looks like now, and it wasn’t what I thought. It almost seems as though the roles are reversed. Woman are bolder than ever when it comes to approaching a man and asking him out. Single ladies have the power. They are speaking their minds and getting just what they desire out of their relationships. Here I was thinking I needed to play matchmaker for my single girls, and it turns out, they are doing just fine enjoying their single lives.
So I’ve come to the conclusion that dating has changed. It doesn’t seem to come with the same amount of pressure. Back in the day, with almost every date, we wondered if this could be “the one.” Today, my friends are definitely having a ball and seeking “the one” isn’t the top priority. Although my girls desire to be married some day, dating for fun instead of dating for marriage is working. They aren’t stressing over meeting and getting to know someone new. Honesty and being open about the direction the relationship takes seems to be serving them well.
Additionally, single women have evolved. They are vocal and staying true to their goals. The days of settling for just anyone are long gone. Women today are holding out for what they really want. And when it is marriage, they state it early on and are willing to walk away if it isn’t leading to what they want. One of my friends even proudly declared “It’s two and ‘I do’ or two and ‘I’m through.’” She made a decision she won’t ever be a girlfriend to any man for more than two years again, meaning if the relationship isn’t at the stage of marriage by year two, she would be ready to walk away.
Some years ago, the three-month rule was all single folks were talking about. There was a three month minimum dating phase before women decided to get too serious and/or intimate with a man. Today, it’s more like “what three-month rule?”
Some women can be intimate and not be emotionally attached. Singles know what they want and aren’t necessarily waiting anymore. The worries about judgement or moving too quickly are no longer of concern for some of today’s women. They are getting what they want.
Dating, in my opinion, was supposed to always be stress-free and enjoyable. When you met someone you truly connect with, you moved forward from there. But after our conversation, it was clear that dating in this day and age is more about the opportunity to get to know someone and have a little fun. I love the space my friends are in, and I know when the time is right, they will have exactly what they desire.
BMWK, what changes, if any, have you noticed in today’s single woman?