If he were interested in you, he’d approach you, right?
Wrong! Men don’t always think like that, sisters!
If you’ve been confused or frustrated by the fact that high-quality men don’t initiate conversations with you, let me help a sister out and share 3 tantalizing tips that will turn you into a man magnet and have men approaching you everywhere you go.
1. Your body language must show that you are available.
I’ve heard from many men that they are intimidated in the presence of a beautiful woman. You’d never think that these attractive, successful men are afraid to walk up to you and say hello just by looking at them, but they are. Why? Because they’ve been shut down by so many sisters in the past. They don’t like rejection and will avoid it like the plague!
According to the science of attraction, men (and women) find people with available body language–smiling, uncrossed arms and legs, and looking up–the most attractive.
For example, put away your smartphone when you’re in line at the grocery store and stop using your Michael Kors bag as a body shield. These props can make a man think you’re too busy or just not interested.
2. Make the first move
You don’t have to chase a man, sisters, but you do have to make the first move.
One way you can make the first move is to lean in and give LOTS of eye contact. Don’t forget to smile too! Mean mugging isn’t attractive.
If the thought of smiling and saying hello to a good looking man makes you want to run away and hide, you have some limiting beliefs about men, yourself, and dating that are getting in your way. For example, some of the women I work with think that flirting is “too aggressive.” They’ve been taught to never pursue a man but as a result of these thoughts, they end up running the opposite direction when a man seems interested in them.
3. Take advantage of the moment
You have to attract a man’s attention to you while you can. Dr. Helen Fisher, an expert in the science of love, says we people can tell in one second–ONE SECOND–whether or not someone is attractive!
You can’t put all the responsibility on God, fate, or “if it’s meant to be” types of thoughts. You also can’t make the excuse that if he’s interested he’ll overlook all of your “don’t come over here, what are you looking at, I hope you don’t really notice me” signals and talk to you anyway.
If you’re in the presence of an attractive, single man you have to flirt to let him know you’re interested while he’s still there.
You’ll have more good men approaching you if you’ll change your body language, be willing to initiate and seize the moment!
BMWK, do you think women should make the first move?
B. Williams says
I do agree that women should make the first moves. And a smile can go a long way. I never knew the bag impression but I appreciate it. Thanks! I am going to share this with my girls.
Aesha says
Thanks for sharing!
MS says
This spoke to me directly. I’ve been out of the dating scene for over a decade so it’s been pretty hard getting men to approach me in public. I will definately use these tips in the future.
Aesha says
Glad it helped!
Arlene Tillman says
Their is someone at church anf we make eye contact but habe not spoken to each other. My thought was it should be the man to approach first
I’ll try with chances of not getting rejected. What do
either of us
Aesha says
Hi Arlene! Smile & strike up a conversation. You never know where hello can take you!
Brother B says
From a well seasoned single man by choice, with many years of experience, this is all so true, and very good advice.
Adeola Omikunle says
Thank you for sharing.
Anonymous says
There is sum1 at church who we started been friends frm 2009 til nw bt nathng is happening so i need help in this