When the question, “Why do men cheat” is asked, there are various answers given. The answers run the gamut from plausible to laughable depending on whom the question is asked and how that person has been socialized, their worldview which shapes how they see the world and their place within it. It is a legitimate question asked by those who have suffered from the (forbidden) fruit produced from this selfish behavior. They deserve a legitimate answer. What follows are three common reasons that are given for why he cheats and more importantly, why she stays.
According to many, “Variety is the spice of life.” That takes on a different light when applied to cheating. Some men boast a “natural” penchant for variety. By natural, they mean innate, giving a pseudo-scientific spin to infidelity thereby justifying the behavior as an act of evolution. Multiple women are sought to feed this inherent “need.” Variety provides a great way to experience a more fulfilling life in a proper context which lends itself to outcomes that enrich an individual’s life and their significant other. Love provides the opportunity for two to experience the richness of its depths in a variety of ways within an exclusive union. It is foolish to assume or worse to make an excuse for cheating on the basis of a need for variety.
Another popular reason given by men for cheating is being unhappy in their current relationships. No one wants to be unhappy and no one has to be. There is always an opportunity to make a better, more suitable choice. The proper course of action, when a man wants to retain honor, would be to end one relationship then, pursue a more compatible partner to begin a new meaningful relationship with.
This path guarantees to leave a man’s honor intact if that is his desire. It should be apparent that men that use this excuse are not concerned with maintaining honor. No man concerned with honor, cheats. This reason, just as the last, is easily proven to be a weak selfish excuse. Cheating does not increase happiness in an unhappy relationship. Neither is that the intention of the perpetrator.
It’s Just Sex: It doesn’t mean anything
The only time a man argues, “It didn’t mean anything” is when he is the culprit. When a man is the victim of this type of betrayal, sex somehow is elevated to far more than a meaningless act of passion that is easily forgotten and forgiven. This is his excuse to lessen the impact and responsibility of his transgression. The damage done is not physical, like the act that caused it.
If it were only physical, it would be easy for a woman to overcome. The body is designed to heal itself. A breach of trust does not heal itself like a flesh wound. Those wounds which are hidden from plain sight are the hardest to heal especially when the damage occurs repeatedly.
Read Why She Stays on the next page