In my article One Man Examines Why He Did Not Want His Wife to Go Natural, I covered a story about a man who had to deal with his own issues in order to accept his wife’s choice to wear her hair in its natural state. Talk Show host Steve Harvey delves into a similar issue on a recent show while talking to couple McClea and Love.
In this episode, McClea and Love talk about McClea’s issues of accepting Love’s newly natural hair and also about her insecurity with the choice. Luckily, Steve had Nikki Walton aka Curly Nikki there to speak to the beautiful couple about some of the harsh realities that exist within our acceptance of our own hair in its natural state. One of McClea’s biggest issues was that his wife, Love, had worn long Brazilian weave since the day he met her and throughout their entire marriage. She partially blamed herself for his negative reaction. For him, her new look was shocking and he admits that it is taking him awhile to get used to it. He also felt like her natural hair was not versatile enough.
“No wife wants to hear that her husband is not attracted to her natural beauty.” ~Love
Curly Nikki was able to make some style suggestions using real models. She presented 3 easy styles:
- Pin Up – versatile and appropriate for work
- Roller or Rod Set – Adds texture for a fun natural look
- Heat Styling – To make the hair straight, but be careful!
“…we are taught to believe that straight hair is beautiful.” ~nikki
Nikki also gave advice on how to care for your hair when wearing weaves and spoke about the importance of giving your hair a break from weaves. Steve’s advice to McClea was to never make his wife feel unattractive no matter what he thinks and that ultimately it’s Love’s hair… so it’s Love’s choice as to how she wears it.
Once McClea and Love saw the other options that were available for women who choose to wear their hair natural they seemed very eager to give some of them a try. I agree that a woman who wears weave 100% of the time around their mates should give them time to adjust to their new look if they choose to go natural. I didn’t give my husband anytime to adjust. I opted to just come home one day with ALL of my shoulder length hair (all mine no weave) chopped off. Hindsight is 20/20.
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BMWK – Would you be willing to work with your mate on their acceptance of your natural hair?
Its difficult to appreciate “NATURAL HAIR” Where are we when we can’t appreciate what we were born with…these young men and women are so lost when they think they need someone else’s hair to be, look and feel beautiful. I guess I should congratulate them for trying…but I just don’t understand why they have a hard time accepting what their parents and their race has given them…NATURAL BEAUTY!
I agree with u PB3. I think its pathetic that we feel like wearing weaves will make my life a little easier or can get me ahead in the work place. Going natural shouldn’t be something you “adjust” to it should be something your already proud of and its a crown of beauty show it off.
I did the big chop and my husband didn’t speak to me for about a week. I never wore weave but my hair has always been long but my thing is….my hair was cut short and shaved in the back when he met me so why is it any different. He did ask that I give him a warning and I told him I was going to do it but I guess he thought I was kidding. I don’t get the part where he needs warning or what not. It’s still gone be short whether I tell you and do it or just do it. I been natural for 6 mons now and I can clearly tell my husband is not attracted to me any more.
Hi Gloria,
Glad to hear you are rocking your hair. I do have a question for you, how do you know that your husband is no longer attracted to YOU?
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