When I decided to marry my husband, I had high expectations. They weren't unreasonable, but they were high. I still have high expectations, and I have no intentions of settling for anyone—not even the man I love with all my heart. Thankfully, I have no regrets about marrying him and what we have works for us. We are happy. But things don't always work out this way. Some of … [Read more...]
4 Things You Need to Know Before You Go to Marriage Counseling
My husband and I attended premarital counseling before we got married. Finding the right counselor was a process. We attended a few sessions with one counselor, and after that counselor made a comment I found offensive, we decided he wasn’t the best fit (actually, I decided for us). After lots of research and phone calls, we finally found another counselor. I liked him a … [Read more...]
3 Tips to Help You Cope When You’re Feeling Lonely in Your Marriage
Years ago, my husband and I were dealing with a painful loss; we each managed that pain differently. I needed him more than usual while he needed space and time to work through his feelings. That was a very lonely time for me. It was so hard, but we worked through it. We came out stronger on the other side. Most people get married for companionship, but what happens when … [Read more...]
Here Are 5 Good Reasons to Stay in Your Marriage
Some things in life are worth fighting for, while others just aren’t. The decision about whether or not you should fight for something can be an easy one, but that usually isn’t the case. Usually, making that decision is tough. There’s often a lot to consider, and it can be hard to differentiate between what seems easiest and what’s actually best. So what do you do when the … [Read more...]
3 No-Nonsense Reasons You Shouldn’t Compare Your Spouse to Your Parent
Have you heard the saying that boys tend to marry someone like their moms and girls look for men like their father’s? In a way it’s true, we may subconsciously look for someone who shares some of the same qualities as our parents. You may have married someone who has qualities like your parent, but if they do not, please don’t compare them to your parent. It is dangerous to … [Read more...]
3 Actions You Must Take Before Giving Up on Your Marriage
Most of the articles I write on the topic of marriage deal with cultivation, nurturing, and protection of the relationship. Indeed, especially with marriage, an ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure. Generally, good maintenance of your relationship is going to produce a healthy relationship with long lasting results. Unfortunately, some relationships are beyond the … [Read more...]
Is It Ever Okay To Go Through Your Man’s Things?
If you haven’t been there personally, you probably have a friend who has—going through her man’s phone, wallet, car—wondering if she will stumble upon some incriminating evidence that he’s doing something wrong. Sometimes the evidence is there—clear as day, begging the question, did she really need to go through his things to figure that out? And sometimes, there is nothing … [Read more...]
Are You Disappointed in Who Your Spouse Has Become? Here’s What You Can Do About It
I’ve always been a little skeptical about people who marry potential. I think it’s great to see what someone is capable of, or what that person might become down the line, but just because you see the potential doesn’t mean they ever will. I believe the only way marrying someone for their potential works out well is if that person sees their potential, too. And it’s not … [Read more...]
Marriage on the Rocks? How to Overcome these 3 Major Therapy Misconceptions
It’s been months since you’ve felt like things in your marriage are off. Maybe something happened and you haven’t worked through it, or maybe you can’t even pinpoint what’s wrong but you just aren’t happy. It happens to the best of us. We start married life on a high (or at least we should), but with time that high can fade. Life happens. Things change. So what do you do … [Read more...]
Anger Issues Damaging Your Marriage? Here’s How to Bring Back the Peace
I’ve always believed that every emotion has its place, even the ones that get a bad rep, like sadness and anger. Every developed emotion serves a purpose, and problems typically ensue when we let our emotions manage us instead of taking control and managing them. One of the most difficult emotions to manage is anger. Typically, this is a reflection of one of two … [Read more...]
6 Things You and Your Spouse Need to Discuss Today
We are halfway through the year and everyone around me is assessing their personal goals and determining what’s next as they plan for the remainder of the year. I get it because I am busy doing the same. But while stressing over my health and business goals I realized that I was actually leaving out a very important thing; assessing my marriage and family goals. When the … [Read more...]
How Do You Hold on When Your Spouse is Financially Unstable?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I've been married for two years going on three years in September. We met at a church revival. We started dating on April 25, 2012, and got engaged on August 16, 2012. We got married on September 28, 2012. Just giving you a timeline. As I look over my life, I think back to high school. When they ask you, where do you see yourself after high school? I … [Read more...]
How to Overcome the 6 Most Common Marriage Dilemmas
Never go to bed angry, keep others out of your relationship, and be a freak in the sheets are all marriage tips we’ve heard time and time again. All are great pieces of advice, but sometimes a bit challenging to execute. Certain behaviors and ways of thinking prevent us from applying the love lessons we’ve learned. During the planning phase of a wedding, we aren't usually … [Read more...]
How Young is too Young to Say, “I do?” Click Here to Find Out
Ask a married person their opinion about age and marriage and you will get a wide range of responses. Some will tell you that getting married before 30 is a bad idea because people should have some clarity about who they are before they jump the broom. Others might share how they got married when they were 22 and they are happily married 20 years later so age shouldn’t be a … [Read more...]
3 Pieces of Bad Relationship Advice People Always Share But You Should Never Take
Relationships often come with unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes they lead us in a direction that strengthens our relationship with very little effort on our part, but it’s not always that easy. The twists and turns can be complicated, leaving us feeling like we need an outside party to help guide the way. Frankly, there is nothing wrong with seeking help for your … [Read more...]