My husband Don and I have been married for 17 years, however, the first 15 were awfully tumultuous. We argued all the time and just could not get along. I now realize that I went into marriage thinking I would be a glorified girlfriend and that my husband would love me unconditionally until “death did we part.” That lasted all of three weeks. That’s it. The honeymoon and my … [Read more...]
Out-Dated: Dating Advice that Will Keep You Single
There is no shortage of bad advice available to hinder if not altogether ruin your relationship. Most of the time, it comes from well-meaning family and friends (who are likely passing on information that hasn't served them well if they thought about it). They mean well, but things won't end well if you heed this advice. Here's some to add to your list of "advice not to … [Read more...]
Would You Rather Be Wanted or Needed in a Relationship?
One of my followers on social media posed an interesting relationship question that she wanted me to answer along with other men who follow my posts on social media. She wanted to know what's on the minds of men. And in her inquiries, she asked a question that stood out to me: Is it better to be wanted or needed in a relationship? Although I answered the question some days … [Read more...]
6 Character Flaws That Should Make You Question if You Are with the Right Man
I think I get on my husband’s nerves sometimes. You know what else? He gets on mine, too. The truth is we are all flawed. There is no perfect person or perfect marriage. We all make mistakes, we all have bad habits, and we all have moments where we could (and should) do better. Yet, despite these realities, some flaws should never be ignored. I believe that a few annoying … [Read more...]
This Black Woman Refuses to Date Within Her Own Race; Here’s Why Part 2
In Part 1, I shared the backstory that led to the writing of this article. And here, I'd like to expound. Interracial dating is a very sensitive subject. Our emotions are uniquely tied to our personal experiences. With this in mind, let me be clear: This article is not about whether or not a black woman should date outside of her race. This article is intended to probe … [Read more...]
This Black Woman Refuses to Date within Her Own Race; Here’s Why
Yesterday while scrolling through my news feed, looking for interesting content to read on Facebook, I came upon a meme that more than satisfied my appetite for literary consumption. The meme featured a couple in a noticeably suggestive pose. It was a photo of a very attractive black woman straddling a handsome white man, but that's not what prompted me to write this article. … [Read more...]
2 Genuine Reasons Why Loving is Hard But Worth It
The great Nelson Mandela stated in one of his most noteworthy quotes, “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." Just because a person has the capacity to … [Read more...]
It Took Betrayal, Tears and Imminent Death for Me to Finally Learn What Marriage is About
My mother is on her second marriage. The first one lasted 15 years. Her current one is going on 30. Impressive figures by modern stakes. I, her youngest son, carry 11 years under my own belt, yet she still teaches me about the power of commitment and service— especially when times get hard. Her husband of 30 years is dying. Cancer. A few days ago, his doctor informed him … [Read more...]
Think Your Marriage Can Survive a Major Illness? 7 Ways to Support a Spouse with a Chronic Health Issue
Do you recall your wedding vows? Did you mean it when you recited them? I want to take a look at one specific one, the one that says “in sickness and in health.” Many couples probably don’t think about what will happen if illness shows up, but it can be catastrophic. Chronic illness in a relationship can often place a strain on finances, communication, intimacy, emotional … [Read more...]
He Was Faithful, Driven and a Perfect Match for Me, so Why Did I End Our Relationship
The past 18 months has been a season of reconnecting with old friends who I’ve lost touch with over the years. Some encounters have been GREAT others have been to gain closure and move on. One encounter in particular was with a gentleman I use to date. After having breakfast, which turned into lunch and then an early dinner, I left open to the possibilities of rekindling our … [Read more...]
Single Ladies, Are You Making These 4 Mistakes In Dating?
Ladies, dating can be tough. And you’re entitled to make your mistakes in the tricky world of dating. But if you’re making these common four mistakes, it’s best you correct them now. 1. Dating Out of Desperation Desperation is never pretty. It hinders good judgment. What causes acts of desperation in dating? A prior failed relationship is among the top reasons. Also among the … [Read more...]
Singles: Have You Prayed this Prayer?
Being a Christian in today’s world is very much a challenge, especially with all of the pressures from society and the temptations that arise from the fleshly-desires awakened within us. Now combine being a Christian and being single; it makes things even more challenging, right? As a single Christian, it can get pretty discouraging at times when you have a standard for the … [Read more...]
Dear God: Where’s My Baby?
Dek: With every pregnancy announcement—and trust me, there have been plenty—I found myself slipping further into depression and confusion…But I learned to live in the now. It’s funny. I’ve been trying to write this post for a while now. I was even disguising my feelings, by initially naming it: Dear God: Where’s My Next Blessing? However, I know God has called me to be a … [Read more...]
Avoiding Murky Situations: 5 Easy Steps that Will Keep You From Cheating on Your Girl
Here's the backstory. I just left the Kroger around the block from my apartment. It's currently 11:38pm. I went there to get some fruit and something to drink before sitting down to get some writing done tonight. As I walk into the store headed to the organic/natural section, this young lady is heading in my direction. She pauses for a moment and looks to her right at some … [Read more...]
3 Must-Read Strategies on How to Love a Difficult Parent
Many of us married and single folks have issues that stem from our parents. Whether we’ve felt abandoned by parents, emotionally or physically abused by parents or overly coddled by parents, things that happened when we were 10 years old can still plague our relationships with our parents today. Even now as adults, some of those parents are just difficult to deal with still. … [Read more...]