We’ve all had relationship problems. I know my husband and I have. Even that super happy couple you know has their own stuff going on. And if they tell you they don’t, it’s either all a front or a way to keep you out of their business. Unhappy marriage signs are not always readable. But having issues to manage doesn’t mean a relationship is in trouble. It just means the people involved are human.
Unhappy Marriage Signs: Why You Need More Than Love to Stay in Your Marriage
In this article:
- Love does not conquer all
- Without more, you’re in trouble
- You will eventually want more
- It’s a tough way to start a family
- It’s a small part of the equation
Sometimes, even in the best of marriages, issues can take over. What was once a happy partnership becomes a daily struggle. And no matter how much we try to manage the struggle, things can continue to go south. At some point, unhappy marriage signs will start to pop up. One indicator that your relationship is in trouble is when you start to feel like your love for your partner is your only reason for staying with him.
Now don’t get me wrong: love is a wonderful thing. It’s amazing, actually. But everything I’ve learned in life has proven that love just isn’t enough. Love can’t be your only reason for choosing to stay with someone. If it is, you have to ask yourself if staying is the right thing to do.
If you are deeply in love and you think that’s enough of a reason to stay in an otherwise unhealthy relationship, please consider these five reasons why your love—no matter how deep it is—just won’t cut it.
Love does not conquer all
I know it sounds good, and we all want to believe that love is powerful enough to conquer all, but it’s not. Love is beautiful in so many ways, but love cannot eliminate all the other problems that exist in your relationship. Some problems are deeply rooted and very difficult to work through—and in those instances, love is not able to conquer all.
Without more, you’re in trouble
I love my husband, but if our marriage was just based on that love, I think we’d be in trouble. It’s much more than love that keeps us together. Things like our friendship, trust, supportiveness and respect keep us going strong far more than our love for each other does. Sure, love should be the foundation of your union, but so much more keeps you happily married.
You’ll eventually want more
Love is so wonderful, especially in the early days. It feels effortless and safe. Love feels good. But if love is all you have, I promise that you will eventually want more.
You will want someone you can bond with spiritually and intellectually. Not only that, but you will want someone you can trust and respect. You will want someone who understands you in a way that few people do and appreciates you for who you are.
So yes, love is great, but it’s not enough to sustain you for years to come. You will eventually want more.
It’s a tough way to start a family
If you are planning to have children and raise a family with someone, please don’t believe love will be enough to make things work. Yes, your kids need to know that you love each other deeply, but, if there are unhappy marriage signs, your kids will notice. They need to see how you communicate with each other, how you work together as a team, and how you look out for each other.
Your kids also need to see friendship and a connection that goes beyond love. It shows them that although love is a very beautiful thing, your relationship is built on more than that. This is what allows people to successfully co-parent once love has faded. There has to be more to the relationship than love.
It’s a small part of the equation
Okay, before you come for me, let me explain. Yes, I know that love is not “small” when it comes to being in a relationship, however, when you think about all the other things that make a relationship work, love truly is a small part of it all. As important as love is, there are many other moving parts that make a relationship stand the test of time.
Hopefully, that same love you share will drive you to work on your issues and develop a greater bond, which might, in turn, save your relationship. If not, it’s time to ask the harder question: do you love one another enough to let each other go?
BMWK: Do you think a relationship can last if love is the only thing holding it together?
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on May 27, 2016, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.