Everyone gets done wrong. Unfortunately, it’s a part of life. But who expects to be done wrong by your family? Maybe that’s why it stings a little more, it’s family. If a stranger did you wrong, at least you could fall back on the phrase, “they don’t know me.”
I’m telling you right now, even when it’s your family, you can still say, “they don’t know me.” Now, truth be told, you knew them. You have seen them talk about other people, lie on folks, fuss others out, and throw anyone under the bus to save their own skin. So why wouldn’t you think they would do this to you…. because you’re family? Please.
Reality check – your family, just like any family across the globe, can fall prey to immoral influence. I’ve seen it all too many times between parents and children, siblings, cousins, in-laws.
So what do you do when you are on the receiving end of the wrong?
Here are 10 actions step to help you keep your cool instead of being heated and hurt.
- Remember your family is human and makes mistakes just like you.
- Keep your love glasses on. See things through the eyes of love versus hatred, hurt, bitterness, or disappointment.
- Set boundaries with the individuals who have wronged you. It is up to you to guard your heart.
- Honor the boundaries you set.
- Respect the position the accuser or perpetrator holds in your life, even when that person does little to warrant that respect. Do it for you; don’t stoop to the same low level of the person that hurt you.
- Forgive for your sake. Unforgiveness will hold you hostage to a negative past.
- Grieve the loss – if the relationship with family is now changed or strained, it is normal to grieve the loss… but don’t wallow in the grief.
- Don’t make everyone else in your life pay for the mistakes of a few individuals that wronged you.
- Move on – what is done is done. You cannot change the past. But you can change and determine how your past will influence your future.
- Trust that everything will be alright. Have a vision of victory and aim towards that goal.
Will these 10 action steps instantly remove your disappointment? Absolutely not! Yet they give you a place to begin setting yourself up for victory over the challenge that you face. They are called action steps for a reason. YOU have some work to do. What!!!! I can just hear you saying it. WHAT, I have work to do!!!!
Don’t let the shortcomings of people change who you are created to be.
Yes. You have work to do. You are the one who is hurt, disappointed, angry, grieved, feeling misunderstood and misused. You cannot stay in that state of mind. It is not healthy for you. So, YOU have work to do. See it as a growing process that is strengthening your testimony, rather than why did this happen to me…truthfully, why not you? Even Jesus was talked about and misunderstood, so count yourself in good company. I encourage you not to let the shortcomings of people change who you are created to be. Hang tough. You’re gonna be alright.
BMWK – Have you experienced being done wrong by a family member? How did you handle it? Have you gotten over the hurt? I have seen this to the extent of one relative’s untruthful words helping to put another relative in jail. This is real life. I get it.