Remember when the only positive images of black marriage some of us saw came from tv? Florida and James Evans, Weezie and George Jefferson, Cliff and Claire Huxtable, and Martin and Gina Payne all graced our tv screens weekly reminding us that black love was alive and well.
The idea of marriage, outside of those shows, didn’t seem to garner a lot of positive hype around it. We also didn’t have as many resources as we do now, or as many professionals as passionate about black love as we do today. Unfortunately, in my childhood neighborhood, there weren’t very many married couples at all, so I don’t recall this level of energy or excitement around marriage.
Today, however, I am enamored by all that I’m seeing about real life black love and marriage. God knows we need more healthy images. I am also grateful for Ronnie and Lamar Tyler who created this platform and started this movement, carving out a space just for us to celebrate all things love and marriage. There is a sense of pride within the circles of married folks. More single people also seem to have a desire to be married while those who are married are looking for ways to maintain that healthy relationship. Yes, right now, seems to be the best time ever, not to only be married, but to stay married. Even celebrity marriages seem to be standing strong and lasting longer, despite the shade usually thrown their way.
The conversations around marriage are also a lot healthier. It’s like a badge of honor to be married. It seems as though couples aren’t keeping their challenges a secret anymore. They’re reaching out even more and asking for guidance on their relationships.
Marriage ministries are becoming more and more popular and inspiring couples to be married God’s way. I don’t ever recall, as a child, hearing of my married family members attending or even discussing marriage ministry events. In fact, I don’t remember seeing them do very much at all to protect their unions. Today, nearly every church is offering ministry to married couples.
The ideas of marriage have definitely begun to shift. Our committed partnerships seem more supported than ever, because we’re talking about it (in a good way) and that there are tons of resources to choose from. You can also tell by the excitement around the creative marriage proposals videos and the first wedding dances taking over social media. We look forward to celebrating the love of other couples.
It’s refreshing to see our love praised, highlighted, featured and simply promoted. Yes, this is the best time ever to be married.
BMWK, do you think it’s the best time ever to be married? Why or why not?
nylse says
It’s always a good time to be married – marriage rocks.
But marriage has been around since the beginning of time, but I think subsequent generations shared knowledge around marriage differently. In the olden days everything was based on the oral tradition. Today we are inundated with social media. When I was growing up, my knowledge of marriage came from what I saw around me – both good and otherwise. I had more good examples than bad in that came from a 2 parent married family and I saw that many around me did not. Though that was the norm I never wanted that for myself and so I made it my business to learn and know about marriages that were long and sustainable. The Bible was a huge source as were other books; we had an active youth group at church so we talked about these things and had speakers that talked about marriage and relationships.
I’m married 26 years and counting.