By Tara Pringle Jefferson
I was doing my usual morning browse through my friend’s Facebook statuses and I found a Mother’s Day post written by a stay-at-home mom friend.
She wrote that while she celebrates the day, it isn’t that big of a deal to her because she feels loved and appreciated every single day. She detailed how her kids give her foot rubs for no reason, they compliment her dinners, and her husband goes out of his way to make sure she’s comfortable.
Hmm, I thought to myself as I read. Interesting.
Then I went back to Facebook and kept reading the statuses of all the mothers I have as friends.
For some, it was business as usual, save for a shout-out at church or people posting on their Facebook wall. They were still up with the kids, doing laundry, braiding hair, ironing clothes, breaking up fights. For some, there was no breakfast in bed, no special presents, no brunch, nada.
For other mothers whose family members went all out, you could see how much just the slightest bit of appreciation meant to them. They truly didn’t need an all-star breakfast or fancy new jewelry. Just a simple, “You’re a great mom” was enough for them.
It pains me how many moms are hungry for just a little bit of appreciation. (And I’m well aware that this probably goes double for the dads when Father’s Day rolls around.) Some moms I know anticipate Mother’s Day all year long, using it as motivation to get through the most difficult days, when they truly feel no one understands the amount of work they put in to keep everything running smoothly.
I fall somewhere in the middle. Yes, it’s nice that my husband gets me dinner on Mother’s Day, and puts the kids to bed without me – I truly appreciate that. But I (like the women from the Honey Do series) feel that an ounce more appreciation on regular days goes so far.
It is easy to celebrate Mom and all she does on the second Sunday in May, but then what happens on the second Monday in May and all the days that follow? Where is the breakfast in bed? Where are the roses? Where are the dads stepping up to make dinner and giving their wives backrubs? Where are the kids making cards saying, “I love you, Mom!”
I realize this sounds a lot like the anti-Valentine’s Day argument I hear each year, and really, for the first time, I get it. So much of motherhood (parenting in general, really) is doing things without expectation of praise or even acknowledgment, really. Some days it is truly a thankless job. Moms yearn to know they are appreciated, not just in the spring, but all year long.
Moms, do you feel appreciated 365 days of the year, or is Mother’s Day the only day when you truly feel special and appreciated? Share your 2011 Mother’s Day stories below!
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer, blogger and PR professional living in Ohio with her husband and two kids. She’s managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.
I do feel appreciated 365 AND I look forward to Mother’s Day! I think that it is a nice time for everyone to show appreciation to all mothers and mother figures in their lives. It is a time that I take out to call/write girlfriends and family and encourage them and tell them how much I appreciate the work that they do in raising our next generation. I especially love wishing new mom’s or pregnant mom’s happy mother’s day. It will be several years before they reap the benefit of a spontaneous wet kiss or adorable hand-made crafts of a pre-schooler. They expecially need for not just their immediate family to encourage them and give them permission to be pampered and catered to. I agree with you about Valentine’s Day, but mother’s day is different.
Everyday should be “Mother’s Day”. I think it’s ridiculous how the 2nd Sunday in May is portrayed on tv and in the movies. The husband and the kids make a failed attempt at cooking for mom. Which usually leaves a bigger mess for mom to clean up. Maybe if they thought to show mom so love on the regular, their attempt wouldn’t be a big FAIL.
Everyday should be “Mother’s Day”. I think it’s ridiculous how the 2nd Sunday in May is portrayed on tv and in the movies. The husband and the kids make a failed attempt at cooking for mom. Which usually leaves a bigger mess for mom to clean up. Maybe if they thought to show mom so love on the regular, their attempt wouldn’t be a big FAIL.
Everyday should be “Mother’s Day”. I think it’s ridiculous how the 2nd Sunday in May is portrayed on tv and in the movies. The husband and the kids make a failed attempt at cooking for mom. Which usually leaves a bigger mess for mom to clean up. Maybe if they thought to show mom so love on the regular, their attempt wouldn’t be a big FAIL.
Well you know my feeling on the subject. I feel appreciated daily, thank goodness! I will add that Mother’s day can be a sad time for those who have such a deep desire to become a mom and can’t conceive. I think about the mother’s who lost babies and the heartache they have to deal with.
Thanks for the mention 🙂
People need to let days celebrating what is true year round be special and stop being blase about it. Why people would make anything negative or question the need to celebrate days like Valentine’s, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. is beyond me. It’s apparently trendy to be anti- everything popular so there is always this one sour person on facebook or wherever spoiling everyone’s happy moment or using a time to be appreciative as a time to be vaguely condescending to everyone else. While most people were happy for the royal couple getting married, for example, there had to be someone spoiling the vibes and and sounding downright angry about two people in love and getting married. I mean seriously, what’s not to like?!
The day is a reminder and a moment to go above and beyond because the point of the phrase above and beyond is that it is not the everyday norm. And humans don’t go above and beyond 100% of the time 24 hours a day, there are too many responsibilities, activities, interests, and distractions competing for our time for that. A reminder day is great. Not everybody can afford a card and flowers all the time but to make sure do it on one special day is great.
I think the friend on facebook could have said how well she gets treated all year WITHOUT downplaying a day that is great for everyone else. Cause fact is if they give her foot rubs and i love yous all year, they could have found something they DON’T do all year to do for her on Mother’s Day…like a spa day, or a day vacation getaway, or a ticket to a tropical destination…so all she’s saying is they didn’t do anything for her for mother’s day!
@94501d2aff6572f38d4f7817a616c9f7:disqus – I was one of those people fussing at folks who were “hating” on the royal wedding. I was excited about the love and marriage of two people and didn’t care if I didn’t know them personally or if they weren’t even citizens of our country. So believe me, I feel you.
My point was many mothers don’t really feel appreciated all the time. Granted, no one has the time/money/energy to sit and worship their mom every day. What I’m saying is that we shouldn’t feel starved for appreciation and get our fill every May – like that’s supposed to be enough to last us through the year. I’m not arguing against Mother’s Day – I’m arguing for a continuation of that love and respect, on a much higher level than we do now. I wouldn’t mind breakfast in bed once a month 😉
then let your significant other know that is what you want! They can’t read our minds…if you want him to put the kids to bed then let him know that is what you want….rather than sit back in the cut and assume every mom has the same setup as you and your friends.
then let your significant other know that is what you want! They can’t read our minds…if you want him to put the kids to bed then let him know that is what you want….rather than sit back in the cut and assume every mom has the same setup as you and your friends.
Mothers get impromptu hugs and I love yous and the desire to try and please you from their kids I’m sure unless they raised miniature tyrants…parenting is a job not an optional volunteer thing…so from my view men don’t deserve awards for actually doing their job, neither do women. I honestly don’t want people praising me for doing something I’m suppose to do all year long…the only way i feel i deserve special recognition for what every other animal in the animal kingdom does naturally with their young (raise and protect them), is if I take on someone ELSE’s child to raise. That’s something people don’t have to do and go above and beyond when they do it as far as parenting is concerned. Step parents don’t count in that either cause by marrying the man you become one with him, which means you are to be as much a parent to his children as a biological mother should be.
If you want a foot rub or something each month, that’s something you deserve for being the man’s wife, and it’s time to nicely get what you want by maybe giving it…that can be part of foreplay, and which man doesn’t want MORE sex from his wife? So start flirting and rubbing up on him and when he starts rubbing up on you, ask him sweetly to rub your feet and act like it’s the greatest feeling thing ever…mention offhand it would be nice to get that once a month…or just start making it happen once a month, no need for him to remember. I mean once you’re married you have a free pass to be as bold with requesting attention as you want. Use and abuse it lol.or wait til the next time some serious talk comes up about division of labor around the house and say you know, i’d feel great if i got a foot rub once a month, something to relax me. Get a sitter for a whole day or whole night and go do something only two adults can do once a month…lols I still think coming on to your husband will work just fine…men never misunderstand that lol.
Mothers get impromptu hugs and I love yous and the desire to try and please you from their kids I’m sure unless they raised miniature tyrants…parenting is a job not an optional volunteer thing…so from my view men don’t deserve awards for actually doing their job, neither do women. I honestly don’t want people praising me for doing something I’m suppose to do all year long…the only way i feel i deserve special recognition for what every other animal in the animal kingdom does naturally with their young (raise and protect them), is if I take on someone ELSE’s child to raise. That’s something people don’t have to do and go above and beyond when they do it as far as parenting is concerned. Step parents don’t count in that either cause by marrying the man you become one with him, which means you are to be as much a parent to his children as a biological mother should be.
If you want a foot rub or something each month, that’s something you deserve for being the man’s wife, and it’s time to nicely get what you want by maybe giving it…that can be part of foreplay, and which man doesn’t want MORE sex from his wife? So start flirting and rubbing up on him and when he starts rubbing up on you, ask him sweetly to rub your feet and act like it’s the greatest feeling thing ever…mention offhand it would be nice to get that once a month…or just start making it happen once a month, no need for him to remember. I mean once you’re married you have a free pass to be as bold with requesting attention as you want. Use and abuse it lol.or wait til the next time some serious talk comes up about division of labor around the house and say you know, i’d feel great if i got a foot rub once a month, something to relax me. Get a sitter for a whole day or whole night and go do something only two adults can do once a month…lols I still think coming on to your husband will work just fine…men never misunderstand that lol.
*appreciation on regular* My son and I took my wife shopping. I will admit that it was to take advantage of the Mother’s Day sales. We then had dinner after shopping. Again, nothing TOO special. We didn’t wait on line, but there were cloth napkins involved. We eat out about 3x a month. Past years I (we) have done more & we have done less. My Wife & I have decided to get out of debt. So “going-all-out” really wasn’t an option. Running up or adding to bills is NOT a good move these days. I know that she KNOWS how much that I Love and appreciate her. Because I tell and show her more than 5-6 times a year. (Holidays & a Birthday). S/n: i ask my family not celebrate Father’s Day and I don’t celebrate my born-day. That’s just ME. To each his own. I do still hope that ALL the Ladies had a Great Day yesterday or weekend for that matter. The way that they wanted it to be.
I like that. That’s all I’m saying. Appreciation should be given on the regular – including on Mother’s Day 🙂
appreciation should be shown all year…but I do love mother’s day. it’s not about the gift..but more about the thought that they put into showing that they love me and appreciate me.
appreciation should be shown all year…but I do love mother’s day. it’s not about the gift..but more about the thought that they put into showing that they love me and appreciate me.
I was just speaking to my “teenager about an attitude of gratitude.” Just a lil gratutide goes a long way. My son is very lvoing and telling me he loves me – he’s cute (I think he does it for attention). I do not feel appreciated every day. Hopefully my family is working on getting there. While my husband does cook the majority of dinner which is nice and some breakfast. He does it because he is the better cook. It does help ease the load.