by Lisa Maria Carroll
Are you a parent who struggles to give your child the best of everything, including a house that’s not a home because you’re losing sleep at night worrying about how you’re going to keep it, vacations charged to credit cards that will take you the next 20 years to pay off, and a college education that you can’t afford to pay for? If this is you, then I beg of thee to stop it…NOW.
I just watched CNN’s Black in America: Almighty Debt, and I was greatly disturbed by the parents who were facing foreclosure, because they’re 26 months behind on their mortgage, yet they’re concerning themselves with how they’re going to pay for their daughter’s college tuition to Yale, Harvard or Princeton, while this young lady incurs $400 credit card bills. At first I was miffed at the daughter because of her misplaced values. But after some thought, I realized the WHOLE family’s values are in the wrong place.
Where is it written that parents MUST pay for their child’s higher learning? I told my children early (probably daycare) that they needed to get good grades so they could go to college.; I never led them to believe that Mama would be paying for anything. Now, don’t get me wrong, I would have contributed in any way that I could, but as a single mother raising four children, establishing college funds for each of them on my salary was not realistic. Nor is it realistic for a couple sitting on the front steps of foreclosure to think they can pay for an Ivy League education.
The couple on Almighty Debt said that it’s important for their daughter to be able to go to the college of her choice. Well, if her college of choice is Yale, Harvard or Princeton, then her grades should reflect such. And if not, then she’s already made her choice to enroll at the community college around the corner, where she can get enough through financial aid, including work study, to pay her own tuition.
Feedback Friday Question: Should parents pay for their child(ren)’s college education??
Lisa Maria Carroll is a wealth strategist and along with Kim Crouch, is co-creator of the Millionaire Journey. To learn more about Millionaire Journey, go to https://1yearmillionaires.blogspot.com/ or join us on Facebook at https://tinyurl.com/yhdwa78
Excerpt from the couple’s story:
I am very upset to read so many comments talking about when the child reaches middle/junior high school grades matter…the push should be on them earlier so it is a way of life not “another chore/punishment” from mom and dad.
Please, please educate yourselves on the financial aid process!!! Did you know that if your child works in their Junior and Senior year of high school and makes a certain amount (at one point I believe it was under $10,000) that it is viewed as funds available to pay for tuition? After completing the financial aid packet, you will receive a Family Contribution form that tells you how much grant and loan money you are receiving and how much is needed for the family to contribute…even working full time from the day after graduation to the day they must leave the student will not earn that amount.
We have 5 children with a large range of academic abilities. My oldest was holding conversations at her 1st bday party and reading since the age of 2 and has always been the top of the class…she aspires to go to Yale. I explain to her every year that her college life will depend on what she brings to the table, work hard in school to get the most in scholarships; the less we have to pay the more spending money she will have. The money we have saved so far for her education will be given to her in full at the completion of her sophmore year in college if she is on full scholarship or if our contribution is under a certain rate($5k or less is our figure right now) to do with as she pleases(she wants to buy a car with it now). I have another child that wants to go to a HBCU who is a completely average student and she has a similar education plan as the oldest, while we have another child who wants to go to college because we push education but because of his special needs will have a harder time. But that doesn’t mean we don’t push him as much. We plan to help all 5 of them with their higher education(whether technical school or Ivy league university) and if that means footing the bill so be it. However it must be within reason, we definitely can’t afford Ivy league full tuition x5!!!
Paying for your childrens college should be STOPPED.
Your goal is to have independent children, and when you give them money, they will ask for more. This continues into the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.
Get out the bud nippers, and nip that in the bud.
Let them know early, they pay for college with loans, and scholerships, and you will not pay.
(My father told me that, and sent it in writing to the college, lol…and the loans a scholerships paid my way….)
Now, my father has a nice retirement, while my x-mother-in-law, who paid for everything for her children, is still working and giving her kids money (and they are in their 40’s).
Stop it!
Do NOT be friends with your children, be a parent to your children.
Paying for your childrens college should be STOPPED.
Your goal is to have independent children, and when you give them money, they will ask for more. This continues into the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.
Get out the bud nippers, and nip that in the bud.
Let them know early, they pay for college with loans, and scholerships, and you will not pay.
(My father told me that, and sent it in writing to the college, lol…and the loans a scholerships paid my way….)
Now, my father has a nice retirement, while my x-mother-in-law, who paid for everything for her children, is still working and giving her kids money (and they are in their 40’s).
Stop it!
Do NOT be friends with your children, be a parent to your children.
Paying for your childrens college should be STOPPED.
Your goal is to have independent children, and when you give them money, they will ask for more. This continues into the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.
Get out the bud nippers, and nip that in the bud.
Let them know early, they pay for college with loans, and scholerships, and you will not pay.
(My father told me that, and sent it in writing to the college, lol…and the loans a scholerships paid my way….)
Now, my father has a nice retirement, while my x-mother-in-law, who paid for everything for her children, is still working and giving her kids money (and they are in their 40’s).
Stop it!
Do NOT be friends with your children, be a parent to your children.
Or if you are like my husband…who made a huge mistake promising to pay 100% for a 4 year college degree for his son….the ex-wife won’t allow him to rescind. We have 2 smaller kids and I stay at home while my husband works 2 jobs. The son doesn’t have a job…or his own car…the ex-wife and her new husband both work.
Normally I don’t learn article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to check out and do so! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very great post.
Also visit my site :: fantastic