Hello Dr. Buckingham, My husband and I recently married a little over a month ago. The issue that I need insight on is how to deal with our children (my step children)? During the planning of our wedding, the relationship I had with two of his children changed drastically. One of his kids, whom I had a great relationship with, seemed to change once we decided that we … [Read more...]
Relationships
Stop Single Shaming! 5 Ways the Holidays Can Be Great for Single People!
Stop it already!! Folk in relationships and marriages have to stop acting as if single people are sitting around miserable because they aren’t. A good example of this is around the holidays when lots of single people dread being around friends and (especially) family, who always find a way to bring up the awkward conversation about why they aren’t married or why they aren't … [Read more...]
Girl, You’re the Emotionally Unavailable One! 3 Signs That It’s YOU not Him
There are big myths about women and men that can get in the way of a real connection. For example, women tend to expect men to initiate a first phone call within 24 hours, and if they don't, the sisters assume the men are just not interested. Men, on the other hand, may wait a few days before calling because they don't want to look like they're a stalker or too thirsty … [Read more...]
The Single Life: 7 Things Worth Considering for Your Pre-Marriage Bucket List
I don't think my life will end when I get married. I don't think it will begin either. Perhaps the union will be the sequel, the "to be continued" or the "happily ever after" to my current single state of mind. I don't live my life hoping and waiting for a husband. Yes, it would be nice if he comes riding in on a horse or in an environmentally-friendly car, but he won't … [Read more...]
6 Possible Reasons Why Christian Men No Longer Want a Church Girl
Okay, fellas, please help the ladies out. I skated around this particular question in a previous post, but I see I just need to come out and ask the question. Christian men, what do you want in a relationship? With so many pastors and leaders dating and marrying women who are not known for being “church girls”? It causes Christian women to question, what are Christian … [Read more...]
The Powerful Instinct That’ll See Your Marriage Through the Valleys—And It’s Not Love
Even though it may not show through my smile every day, I view my marriage as a badge of honor. I'm always proud to tell people that my wife and I have more than 11 years of marriage under our belt so far—and we're still adding time. With each new year celebrated in our marriage, I'm often reminded a piece of advice given to me earlier in life. I always reflect back to a … [Read more...]
7 of the Most Challenging Dating Issues Facing Christian Singles
As with all dating relationships, when two imperfect people come together, there are bound to be challenges. And Christian dating is no exception. I surveyed Christian women between the ages of 25 to 55 and asked them to list the challenges of Christian dating. Here are their top 7 answers: 1. Is this the One? This is a problem everyone faces. Most women and men have a desire … [Read more...]
Don’t Play with Petty: 3 Ways You Can Go High When He Goes Low
A dear friend of mine has been dealing with some unwanted drama in her life. We talk about it a lot. I offer advice when she wants it. When she doesn’t, I try my best to bite my tongue and give her a shoulder to lean on. It’s what I would want any friend to do for me. Recently, the drama has been causing her a lot of stress and anger. I get it because just listening to some … [Read more...]
Would You Rather Be Wanted or Needed in a Relationship?
One of my followers on social media posed an interesting relationship question that she wanted me to answer along with other men who follow my posts on social media. She wanted to know what's on the minds of men. And in her inquiries, she asked a question that stood out to me: Is it better to be wanted or needed in a relationship? Although I answered the question some days … [Read more...]
What’s the Best Chapter in Your Love Story? And Why You Need to Praise It
I love a good love story. I’m always curious about how couples met. When I’m chatting with newly married couples, I sometimes ask what the proposal was like. Whenever I’m talking to couples who’ve been together for a while, I might ask what they enjoy about marriage or what’s the secret to their longevity. There is just something about love that inspires me. Love is the one … [Read more...]
Singles: 4 Love Lessons That I’ll Take Beyond My 20s
As I reflect on this past decade of my life and welcome my 30s, I’ve learned a lot about relationships and about myself. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but at this age, I’ve realized that they were lessons that didn’t simply wound me but became opportunities to help someone else. As we all continue to live and learn in love, we take some vital wisdom with us from those … [Read more...]
10 Super Simple Ways to End Your Dating Slump
[tps_header]We all have hit a dating slump at one time or another. Where we are dateless for a long period of time or our dates seem to be a continuation of a very bad dream. Instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself, choose one of the following 10 ways to get back out there, shake things up and have some fun.[/tps_header] 1. Change your hangout spot Tour … [Read more...]
Stop Wasting Time with Duds; Here’s How to Pick a Dude Who’s Marriage Ready
You know what you want. But do you know what you need? I ask all the women whom I consult this question. It’s clear to me that most women, who find themselves stuck in a pattern of choosing men who break their heart over and over again, don’t know how to discern husband material from the heart breakers. They’re drawn to the wrong qualities, which attract them to toxic … [Read more...]
10 Godly Ways (Plus Scriptures) to Resolve Conflict with Your Spouse
The truth is, we will have conflict in marriage. It’s normal. Conflict is a disagreement caused by varying opinions. No two people have the same opinion all the time, even if you are husband and wife. However, conflict can be healthy when you decide to stand together and wage war on the problem, not on each other. Here are 10 Godly ways to resolve conflict starting … [Read more...]
Am I Wrong? My Husband Fathered a Son Outside of Our Marriage and I’m Struggling with the Visitation Setup
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband committed adultery more than once and produced a son who was born two months before our 4-year-old daughter. We also have a 10-year-old daughter. I am extremely hurt and dealing with pain, but at the same time, I acknowledge that my husband has a responsibility to be a father to his son. But he is emphasizing his responsibility to the child. … [Read more...]