By: Kimberly Keaton
Let’s all admit it. Communication can be challenging. But, the truth is, it does not have to be a lost cause in our marriages. In particular, when it comes to Christian marriages, it should be even more edifying. The lifeline of a healthy Christian marriage is successful communication the way God intended.
The Bible tells us to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving towards one another.
The phrase “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” definitely holds true when it comes to the way we think and react. Acknowledging that men and women communicate differently is the first step towards having a healthy and fulfilling marriage. My husband Shaun and I are thankful that we learned this early on in our marriage. When we realized that communication was so much more than talking, other areas of our marriage began to fall into place. So, here are three tips to help you better communicate with your spouse.
Don’t Listen to Reply, Listen to Understand
Fighting and arguing will never get you anywhere but ten steps behind. In marriage, there is never a winner and a loser. In Mark 10:8, the Bible tells us that “two will become one flesh.” That means that you’re in this TOGETHER! Sure, you are going to have disagreements. How you handle them will be the determining factor in the outcome. So, you either win together or you lose together. Remember that the Lord gave us two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much as you speak.
Understand Your Spouse
God has blessed you with your spouse, so spending time with them and understanding their likes, dislikes, and how they think should be a priority. Maybe they love words of affirmation or maybe they feel your love through actions. Whatever those things are should be used in your daily interaction with one another. Even understanding their triggers will help you to know how far to go and when enough is enough.
Remember, we do not always see things through the same lens. Put yourself into your spouse’s shoes and determine if it’s how you would want to be treated. More importantly, ask yourself if you’re handling the situation with a Godly mindset. There is nothing better than truly knowing the person that you signed up to spend the rest of your life with.
Always Be Ready to Forgive
Forgive. In other words, follow the old saying of “never go to bed angry” with one another. Don’t give into the enemy because your ego or pride takes over. Holding on to a situation will only add fuel to the fire and create havoc for the future. The Bible tells us to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving towards one another. Forgiveness is a word that carries so much power and can be extremely difficult for some to grasp, especially during times when emotions are high. Of course, it can be hard for us to let things go and move on, but with consistent prayer, it will become easier to leave things in the past.
So, I challenge all couples who proclaim to have a Christian marriage to become even more engaged with God’s word and with one another. Focus on keeping God at the core of your marriage. Always be ready to listen, forgive, and pray to God for guidance and wisdom.
BMWK, How’s the communication in your Christian marriage?
About the Author: Kimberly Keaton is a former gifted teacher turned WAHM (work at home mom) with a one and two year old. She lives in Indianapolis with her husband and high school sweetheart Shaun. They have been married for five years. You can follow her on Twitter at Kimberly (@TheRealKim_K) | Twitter.