I must admit I made several marriage mistakes as a new wife. It took me a minute to understand and appreciate this profound new role with my husband. So my relationship struggled just a bit. What I learned, as I began studying relationships and working with couples, is that I wasn’t the only wife who had this experience.
In this article:
- Taking your husband for granted
- Forgetting to be grateful
- Neglecting the importance of intimacy
- Understanding true partnership
- Putting the children ahead of your marriage
- Assuming he knows what you are thinking
6 Marriage Mistakes Almost Every Wife Makes at Least Once
As many women prepare for marriage they are usually offered some very valuable advice. Never go to bed angry and keep your marriage business to yourself were probably a couple of golden nuggets of wisdom shared.
However, the advice that’s sometimes not given are the ones we need to hear the most. It’s rare that someone shares with a new wife the things to look out for. Not necessarily the things that her husband might do, but the marriage mistakes she could potentially do that will cause ruin to her marriage.
We’re occasionally so focused on the other partner in a marriage that we forget to take responsibility for our own behaviors and the mistakes we could potentially make.
If I could sit every wife down and have a brief chat about marriage and being a wife, there are a few things I would challenge them to consider.
Of course, everyone makes mistakes, it’s when we make them consistently that lead to pain, shame, and guilt. If we’re knowledgeable of those actions in advance, it’s less likely we will make the same mistakes again. Love mistakes can be costly for a marriage.
Here are 6 common mistakes most wives might make at least once in her marriage and how to prevent them:
She might relax and take her husband for granted.
This error is so easy to make, especially after years of marriage. There is a phrase used frequently in my daytime work that says “Don’t Relax”. We’re usually talking to job seekers about their performance on the job, but it applies to marriage also.
We can’t get so comfortable that we forget to cater to our men, love on them and yes, look good for them. They want to continue to be stimulated just as we do. We must consider their needs often in our marriages.
She may forget to be grateful for the little things.
It should still mean something when our husbands bring flowers home, handle a chore we normally handle or just do something small to remind us that we are on his mind. Although it might seem like something insignificant, it shows he’s considerate and wants to please you. We need that in our relationships and not showing appreciation is one of the biggest marriage mistakes we can make.
She may forget how important intimacy is.
This is another mistake some wives will make. Just because her husband may no longer beg for sex every night, a wife should know that her husband is probably still desiring it. Most men do love when their wife takes initiative in the bedroom because it shows she’s interested as well. Intimacy is a necessary piece to a healthy marriage.
She might think her husband is just the sidekick of the relationship.
This mistake will not serve her marriage well. A wife and her husband are partners. Her needs aren’t any more important than his. This was a mistake I made in my early marriage. I had to remind myself my husband has needs and I should honor them the same way he honors mine.
She might put parenthood above being a wife.
If she’s a mom she may put her everything into being a parent and forget about her man’s needs. It’s so easy to make this seemingly innocent marriage mistake. Believe me I understand, being a mom is one of our greatest responsibilities.
We’re shaping the futures of our little ones. Every lesson we teach will impact who they become. Wives sometimes forget we have to also teach our children lessons in love. They will learn how to be a spouse by watching their parents. For that reason, this is one lesson we must get right.
She might assume her husband knows what she’s thinking.
This is the biggest marriage mistake I see wives making most often. She’ll say nothing’s wrong when it clearly is. She will settle for not having her needs met by not asking for what she wants. She will complain to others instead of discussing her frustration with her husband.
All because she assumes her husband will always automatically know what she needs. Wives must be honest and exercise their ability to communicate effectively when it comes to getting what they want out of marriage.
Even if you think he should already know, ask him anyway to guarantee he knows. You’ll be happy you did and your husband will appreciate the reminder.
We’re human, so we’re going to make marriage mistakes that seem easily avoidable. The goal in any relationship is to be sure not to repeat poor behavior. Both partners must continue to work hard at being attentive, creating intimacy and making their spouse the top priority.
BMWK, what mistakes do you think most wives will make at least once?
Editor’s Note: BMWK originally published this post on February 11, 2016. We have updated it for quality and relevancy.