I "met" Deesha Phillywaw through her book Co-parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in Two Households After Divorce. I wish I read her work before I became a co-parent. While dating a man with children, I didn't take into account certain things thoroughly discussed in the chapters of the book. For instance, I wasn't used to being someone's second priority and having to … [Read more...]
8 Must-Read Quotes to Avoid “Being Mary Jane”
You might have some favorite Being Mary Jane quotes if you're a fan of the show. As for me, I just may be the last African-American woman with cable who tuned into Being Mary Jane. Immediately, I was hooked. So much so, I watched back-to-back episodes on BET and stayed up way past my bedtime last night. And, I should say there are catchy quotes about being like Mary Jane every … [Read more...]
The Single Life: 7 Things Worth Considering for Your Pre-Marriage Bucket List
I don't think my life will end when I get married. I don't think it will begin either. Perhaps the union will be the sequel, the "to be continued" or the "happily ever after" to my current single state of mind. I don't live my life hoping and waiting for a husband. Yes, it would be nice if he comes riding in on a horse or in an environmentally-friendly car, but he won't … [Read more...]
#MomOfTheYear – Why I’m Not Applauding Her Actions!
Also read: #MomOfTheYear - Why I Think She Was Right! Am I the only person in America who isn’t applauding the Baltimore mom who disciplined her son on national television? Instead of clapping, I used my hands to wipe away the tears streaming down my face. I cried, because Toya Graham must worry about her son losing his life to gun violence—at the hands of police officers or … [Read more...]
What Daddy Pope Reminded Me About Dating
Last night, while watching Scandal, I thought about an ex-boyfriend during the break. I wondered what my life would look like if we worked things out. For a split second, I missed him. I told myself that I would be much happier sharing my bottle of wine with him instead of my virtual friends on Facebook. That my caramel chocolate chip cookie would taste a tad bit sweeter if … [Read more...]
4 Ways to Get to Know the Person You’re Dating
Recently, I hung out with my first true love. You know the one. The guy you would have married if only you met him in your thirties and not your teens or twenties. The one you compared other men to a decade after dating. During our conversation, I revealed that I didn’t like scary movies. As a matter of fact, I hate them. I won’t watch anything starring Michael Myers, Freddy … [Read more...]
The 12 Dates of Christmas; Spending the Holidays with Your Boo
'Tis the season to get romantic! As a teenager, my friends and I would joke about winter being the best time to be in a relationship. A significant other could keep you warm when temperatures dropped, put gifts under the Christmas tree and de-ice your car in the school parking lot. As an adult, fortunately, the weather no longer factors into my dating decisions. But it does … [Read more...]
Co-Parenting Through the Holidays: How to Cope When Your Kids are Away
This year, I'm celebrating the season solo. Oh, the joys of co-parenting! My ex is picking up our daughter mid-month. Although Thanksgiving somewhat prepared me for her time away from "mommy's house" as she calls it, her absence will still be felt. I'll miss her making mashed potatoes on her kid kitchen and pretending to fix a feast. I'll miss seeing her face light up like the … [Read more...]
5 Reasons Why I Won’t Cut up My Food Stamp Card
Hi, my name is Heather, and I used to receive food stamps. I still keep the card in my wallet to remind me of how blessed I am. I didn’t “depend” on the system like, unfortunately, many families who felt the $5 billion in cuts made to the program recently. But for a moment, I experienced what it was like to not have enough. Long before I became a single mom, I cut up all my … [Read more...]
Last Minute Homemade Halloween Costumes for Couples
I am a procrastinator. I admit it. Every time I'm invited to a Halloween party, I wait until the last minute to pick out a costume. And the costumes in the store are picked over. So, my friends and I end up brainstorming ideas about creating our own attire. Since I'm a writer, not an artist, what I pull together is pretty pathetic. I'm left grabbing anything off the … [Read more...]
8 Awesome Autumn Date Ideas You’ll Fall in Love With
I think autumn is one of the best times of the year to go out on a first date. In the summer, women worry about the humidity causing their hair to frizz and their makeup to melt. In the winter, we fear snowstorms canceling dinner plans or shutting us indoors all weekend. But there's something romantic about autumn. Maybe it's the thought of walking through the orange and brown … [Read more...]
No More “What Ifs” about Your Ex, Time to Let Go of the Past
In college, I dated a man named, well, let’s just call him Marlon. Marlon was attractive, articulate and intelligent—and he possessed a long list of long term potential qualities. Looking back, he was husband material. But I came to college to leave with a degree not a man. Our relationship was very cool and casual. We hung in the same circles, so I guess it as also … [Read more...]
22 Things You Should Do Before Saying I Do
Unlike many girls growing up, I didn't think about getting married and having children. The thought didn't cross my mind until long after college graduation. Heck, it was almost a decade later. Part of me focused on collage and career. I wanted to report the news and travel the world. Another part of me thought I would be disobeying God by having premarital sex. It's easier to … [Read more...]
3 Love Lessons I Learned on My Father-Daughter Date
Recently, I went on a father-daughter date with one of the funniest, handsomest and greatest men of all times--my dad Richard Elliot Hopson. I received two tickets to the Tony Award®-winning Broadway play The Lion King and asked him if he was free on Friday. Ever since I could remember, my father and I got along almost perfectly. I think it's in part due to the fact that I … [Read more...]
7 Reasons Not to Hate Your Child’s Stepmom
When I found out my daughter’s dad moved on, I was devastated. It felt like someone stabbed me in the back and the heart at the same time. I yearned to pick up the phone and call her—the other woman who later became the wife. I wasn’t sure what I would say, but I was sure that the sentences would be filled with four-letter words. I didn’t dial a single digit. Although a … [Read more...]