Remember the scene from the movie “Best Man” where Lance fights flashbacks of betrayal running through his head at the altar. Yet, somehow, he finds the strength to marry Mia despite her having slept with his best man Harper. He doesn't allow the flashbacks that could be a setback to keep him from making a decision and commitment to move forward in his relationship. While this … [Read more...]
Infidelity
Can a Marriage Survive Infidelity That Results in Childbirth?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I was reading one of your articles online at Black and Married With Kids. I have a question and/or need some direction on where to go for help in restoring my two year old marriage. My husband told me of the affair two days post our annual anniversary trip with two other couples/friends. The news came to him by way of another couple that we know. A … [Read more...]
After the Affair: 6 Faith Strengthening Scriptures to Help Restore Trust in Your Union
Yesterday, I let you guys in on some of the crazy that happened to me and, quite honestly, some of the crazy that happens to anyone who finds their marriage embroiled in the aftermath of an affair. After the ugly crying and blame shifting were over, I could only do one thing, turn to God and His power. It was in that power that I was able to remember my faith and trust Him once … [Read more...]
After the Affair: 4 Scriptures to Reignite Your Faith and Save Your Marriage
When a marriage goes through its ups and downs, where do you turn for guidance? I can honestly and wholeheartedly say to you that if it was not for my faith our marriage “Never Would Have Made It” through the storm! Glory to God our marriage not only survived the storm but we are lying under a beautiful rainbow covering! See most married couples have it twisted. Twisted in … [Read more...]
Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Judge People Who Choose to Save Their Marriage After an Affair
Let’s keep it real. In today's society, it has become way too easy to slap judgment on someone for just about any reason. Now imagine having the label of cheater. Maybe you are like me and know all too well what that feels like so you don’t have to imagine. Well, the flip side of this is being the spouse who was cheated on. With judgments being freely handed down, there's a … [Read more...]
6 Fatal Mistakes Husbands Make After Their Wife’s Affair and How to Avoid Them
By: Dr. Shane Perrault, PhD You just found out your girl — or worse your wife — cheated. Ouch! That cheating #@&%^ #%$@! you say, but, much to your surprise, you still love her. What now? Leave, stay, forgive, forget? Your heart was just ripped out, your sense of trust is long gone, and you are outraged. So, why do you find yourself unable to leave? You always thought, … [Read more...]
How Do I Forgive My Cheating Husband after 8 Years
Therapists like myself help people develop new coping skills, adapt to change, and grow from adversity. I make this statement to help you understand that there is no such thing as “fixing” people. However, based on the fact that you are still holding on to the pain of betrayal and being dishonest with your husband, you should seek professional counseling. The only … [Read more...]
Revenge Cheating: 5 Ways it Sabotages Both Marital and Individual Recovery
"Last night was well worth it!” Imagine reading this text message on your husband’s phone. How would you react? Well, I don’t have to imagine and I can tell you exactly how I reacted...minus the cuss words of course. Being cheated on can cause you to lose your religion! The interesting dynamic in our marriage is that we both cheated. Neither of our affairs was … [Read more...]
How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage By Guarding Your heart
In my most recent article 3 Ways to Fight for Your Marriage and Win After an Affair, I shared how my husband and I had reached an impasse in our relationship. With each of us having forsaken our vows and engaged in extramarital affairs, things weren't looking good for us and we had decided to separate. But God placed it on my heart to attempt to reconcile with … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Fight for Your Marriage (and Win) After an Affair
Affairs are messy. I'm not trying to be glib but for lack of a better word, messy just fits. Everything becomes a mess when a man, or woman, "puts asunder" what God has joined together in holy matrimony. When asked to write this article, I was first reminded of the fight of my life. My marriage had become a mess and was breathing its last. Sadly, I saw no way to resuscitate it. … [Read more...]
3 Ways Jay-Z’s Infidelity Confession Can Help You Save Your Marriage
So Jay-Z decided to add somewhat of a video postlude to his latest album "4:44" called "Footnotes for "'4:44'" and the latest clip has set the internet, and maybe some marriages, on fire. In it, the rapper gets real about his less than perfect relationship with Beyonce and the fight to piece their broken marriage back together. Claiming that his marriage was not built on … [Read more...]
30 Serious Consequences of Infidelity…Take Heed
Infidelity is by far one of the worst things that can transpire in marriage. Trust me, I know from personal experience! It violates everything built between you and your spouse in such a personal way. Majority of us who’ve been cheated on didn’t see it coming…I know I was blindsided for sure! “I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity … [Read more...]
Infidelity in Marriage: Here’s How to Rebuild Intimacy after an Affair
If I told you that the day my husband confessed his affair, we had sex the same night. Would you believe me or think I was pulling one over on you? Do you even believe it is possible to reconnect intimately immediately or does the thought of having sex so soon sicken you? Well, we found ourselves in case number one below… Infidelity has a deep effect on a marriage's sex … [Read more...]
My Husband Committed Adultery Twice and Had Two Kids: Has My Marriage Run Its Course?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been married for 21 years. My husband had two affairs early in our marriage that resulted in 2 love children by different women. I decided to stay for our 3 children. My husband has to pay support for these children and I had a lot of anger about having to struggle. I had to be the one who always worked multiple jobs so that my 3 kids did not … [Read more...]
My Wife Cheated. Will Being Realistic About It Save or End My Marriage?
Dear Dr. Buckingham My wife and I have been married for seven years and together for 13. I found out last a few months ago that she has had multiple sex partners since we have been married and before. In all my previous relationships I was the one cheating. In this one I have not, although she has complained about me watching porn. Our families are blended. This is my … [Read more...]