Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been dating this guy for a few years now and I am wondering if he is right for me. I want to be in a committed relationship and eventually get married one day. We have fun together and like to do a lot of the same things, but he never gives me credit for what I bring to the relationship. He comes across as being confident, but his behavior at … [Read more...]
Single
What it Means to Embrace a Dating Relationship Done God’s Way
"I did it my way!" This is a line from a well known and well covered Frank Sinatra song "My Way." The lyrics to the song feed into this idea that a life well lived is one where I call all the shots and, regardless of regrets, it couldn't have been better because well, "I did it my way!" Sadly, many people buy into this mentality. In many aspects of life, we refuse to seek … [Read more...]
3 Easy Solutions to Cure Your Loneliness When You’re Single
"I fought so hard to get this house," she told me. "But when I come home after a long day of work and I look at the hinges hanging off the doors, I think to myself, 'do I really have to do this thing called life on my own?!'" The words from this powerful, strong, successful sista were familiar to me. As a dating coach who works intimately with single Black women, I’ve borne … [Read more...]
Why Do Black Men Get So Defensive When I Ask About Their Income?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am a successful, black, single woman and I am looking for someone who matches my financial potential. I make six figures and have a good quality of life. Like so many other sisters, I am finding it more and more difficult to meet men who are on my level. I am open to dating men who do not make as much money as I do, but I am not open to dating men who … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Manifest Love in 2018 That Don’t Involve a Vision Board
If you are single, successful and beyond ready to manifest the love you desire into your life in 2018, then there is one popular New Year's Resolution practice you must abandon immediately: creating a vision board. I know it sounds crazy coming from me, especially since I've shared that a vision board helped me meet and marry my husband in 11 short months. Vision boards can … [Read more...]
I’m a Soulful, Single Man, but I Can’t Get that Girl: What am I Missing in My Approach?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I'm a young, single, and soulful black male who is attractive according to my female friends. I get a lot of girls’ numbers, but I can never seem to get past the first date. I grew up in a religious household, but other Christian girls won't give me the time of day. I embrace the essence of life and I am a passionate young man. I do not understand what I … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why the Holidays are the Best Time to Find Love
When you're single for the holidays, it seems like there's a never ending string of reminders that your relationship status is stuck at "it's complicated," despite everything you've tried. December brings Christmas and New Year's Eve, and with it, parties that require a "plus one." You also get bombarded with a flood of engagement announcements on your social media timeline … [Read more...]
My Fiancée is a Nervous Wreck: Can Therapy or Medication Fix Her Anxious Behavior?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My fiancée has issues with anxiety and I am not sure if I can cope with her issue for a lifetime. She is always anxious and her moodiness is driving me crazy. Whenever she feels overwhelmed, she shuts down and becomes unproductive. I asked her if we could start planning our wedding and she stated, “I got too much going on right now.” I am not sure what … [Read more...]
Sisters: Consider These 3 Important Things Before Giving Up the Goods
By: Radesha “Desh” Dixon Sex is a natural part of human life. We don’t have to deny it and we shouldn’t feel ashamed to talk about it. As women, we’ve been so conditioned to think a certain way and act a certain way to be labeled as a ‘lady’ or a ‘good woman’ to ensure that we fit into society’s ideals of us. And while I do believe that there are different classes of … [Read more...]
Ladies: 3 Signs You Want a Relationship for All the Wrong Reasons
By: Radesha “Desh” Dixon Relationships are a great thing when they are right. Two people coming together and sharing a deep, loving bond that is pure, honest, genuine and nothing short of divine - that is powerful. When two people are aligned to each other’s life vision and come together to better each other’s lives, what a dynamic duo. So if you’re single and want a … [Read more...]
Is He Soulmate Material? Here’s How You Can Tell
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been in a relationship for 6 years. It started out wrong because my partner and I were both going through separations. We both agreed that we wanted to do things right by completely divorcing and then getting married one year later. I divorced first, but my partner started a new relationship behind my back. Within the last year, he has moved in … [Read more...]
“It’s Complicated”: 3 Social Media Mistakes That Can Negatively Impact Your Relationship Status
When you want to change your relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship," social media can make your dating life complicated unnecessarily. You follow him on Facebook to find out if he's employed instead of just asking him questions directly; he cyberstalks you right after you connect on Match.com, liking photos and leaving comments on statuses, and you haven't … [Read more...]
Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely: Your Single for the Holidays Survival Guide
Just because you're alone for the holidays, doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Loneliness is a choice. I discovered this truth when I was nursing my wounds from a sudden breakup with my boyfriend right before Christmas. Although I've been happily married now for 11 years, I still remember the pain of discovering the guy I was dating had gone out with another girl, even though … [Read more...]
Blinded by Love? Ladies, Pay Attention to These 5 Signals Before Tying the Knot
Have you ever had one of your girlfriends come and tell you something about your man that you just refused to believe? He made a pass at them. He shoved somebody in the parking lot. He quit his job, again. Even though you saw him holding his "cousin's" hand last week, and he barely missed your fingers when he slammed the door shut yesterday, and he just called to ask you to … [Read more...]
How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Stand Up for Me?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been dealing with an issue for quite some time now and find myself in need of some advice. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years now. He is a Marine. Since the beginning of the relationship, his mother has been jealous, possessive and rude toward me. She was not excited that her son was spending time with … [Read more...]