Too many people see being single as a “disease” that needs to be cured rather than a season of life or possibly even a calling for life. Some come right out and say it: “Girl, why are you still single? Can’t you find a man?” Or, “if you weren’t so picky, you would be able to catch a guy.” Others are much more subtle. They don’t speak so much of your singleness, but are … [Read more...]
Single
5 Ways to Make Dating Fun Again That Actually Work
Do you dread dating because you're bored with the kinds of men you meet? Or are you suffering from burn-out and the thought of getting dressed up just to be disappointed makes you feel like you're wasting time when you could be getting work done? You might even feel bitter about the dating scene because it feels like men don't want to court you--they're rushing to sleep with … [Read more...]
19 Things Confident Women Just Don’t Do In Relationships
Men love confident women and when they are looking for the lady of their dreams, it's one of the top qualities they desire. I feel you rolling your eyes, girl, because you may be thinking to yourself: Yeah right! These brothers out here are intimidated by women who are smart, successful and secure (and you've probably even had a guy act funny around you because of what you do … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why Convincing Yourself You Don’t Need a Commitment Is Dangerous
Do you feel like asking the man you're dating when he's going to commit to you is pressuring him to do something he doesn't want to do? Do you "go along to get along" when he says he enjoys your company but isn't in a rush to label things, even though you secretly fear he's wasting your time and won't ever commit? If you said yes to either of these questions, and you've been … [Read more...]
2 Lessons About Sex You Probably Missed From Insecure Season 2
We just witnessed another heart wrenching season finale of Insecure on HBO. Season 2 was all about the messy middle of these characters’ transition from the relationships they once knew into an uncertain future, and it made for really good TV that was often uncomfortable to watch. The struggle is real for Issa, Molly, Lawrence and, it seems, for the millions of singles who … [Read more...]
Tired of the On-Again/Off-Again Relationship? Here’s How I Got My Ex to Marry Me
By: Sharelle Guyton During year six of my dead end, on again-off again relationship, I was losing hope that one day I would be blessed with the marriage and family that I desired. After another break up, the most troubling part was I felt this wasn’t just any ex. We both felt led to marry one another but our methods only caused destruction. I began analyzing the patterns of … [Read more...]
My Fiancé is Dating Another Woman. Do You Think That I Should Marry Him?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have this boyfriend that I have been dating for almost three years now and we are planning to settle down. Recently, I found out that he has been dating several females. He told me that he could date several women because I have not made up my mind to marry him. After I told him that I was ready to marry him I found out that another girl called him and … [Read more...]
How Do I Deal with My Unemployed, Babies’ Father?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I've been with my babies' father for five years now. Throughout the five years that we have been together, he has never been able to keep a job for more than three months. We have two little boys and I stopped working when I got pregnant the first time. I would look for a job, but when I was working in the beginning of the relationship, he didn't work … [Read more...]
My Son’s Father Has a Troubled Past and Bad Boy Qualities; Should I Run or Stay?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am 26 years young and I have been dating my son's father for about 3.5 years on and off due to infidelity and incarceration. I know it sounds bad, but he has had a rough, hardcore life and I'm very empathetic to his past. He will be 30 in a few days, and is currently incarcerated. Our son is 2 years old and loves his dad very much. He has 2 other … [Read more...]
Just Not Attracted to Him? 3 Ways to Let Him Down Easy After a First Date
"I think he's cool...I'm just not attracted to him." I hear this phrase a lot from my date coaching clients who come to me for help when getting back out there after not dating for 2 or more years. I encourage them to date outside their type in order to break their cycle of choosing men who look good on the outside, but are toxic on the inside. As a result, they take a … [Read more...]
How Can I Win My Boyfriend Back?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years. He has put me first and treated me like a queen. But I took advantage of that and he is fed up with me. Now that I have realized my wrongs and my bad attitude, he wants a break from me. He says not to contact him and be strong, but I feel like my world has come to an end. I feel like … [Read more...]
Benefits or Backbone? 4 Reasons to Stop Wasting Time in a Bad Relationship
By: Ankunda Carrolyn Growing up as a Non-Christian, all I ever wanted was a man who could love me, spoil me with gifts, provide for me, and take care of me (which isn’t bad, by the way). My spiritual eyes had not been opened yet to the importance of marrying a spiritual man. I later realized that the beauty of a relationship with a mature, spiritual man is you get the full … [Read more...]
It Takes a Squad: 3 Types of Friends Every Woman Needs to Hold Her Down When She’s Dating
Have you seen the movie, Girls' Trip? Theaters around the country were smelling like cocoa butter and coconut oil because the "Sistas" showed up and showed out, making this film a box office success! Maybe we were so excited to finally have a celebration of #BlackGirlMagic and our friendships on the big screen (We haven't seen four fabulous friends being featured since the hit … [Read more...]
3 Heart Strong Ways to Stay True to Your Vow of Celibacy
For a long time, celibacy was seen as a thing for nuns and priests, you know, people of the cloth. Anyone outside of these life choices was viewed as having a few screws loose if they opted to join this club. So, here you are. You've decided to become celibate. But now you’re catching flack from everybody and their mama! You hear things like: “You’re crazy.” “There … [Read more...]
Should I Keep Dating My Young Lady or Find Someone Older?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am 35 years old and I am dating a 26-year young lady who has no job, but she is full of ideas. My fear is that she will rely on me. I am also fearful that about what society will say about the age gap between us. She looks younger than her age and I look more mature than her. Should I Continue Dating my Young Lady or Find Someone Older? Is It Better to … [Read more...]