By: CC Jean, LMSW
Our society is all about instant gratification. We want it, and we want it now! Furthermore, when we get it, it better be on point. We are accustomed to entitlement and are quick to hold others accountable for causing us the slightest displeasure.
This insistence on perpetual satisfaction might work for you at the Wal-Mart customer service desk, but it’s less likely to work in marriage. Surrendering expectations, demands, and personal agendas is difficult, and a major reason why staying hitched has proven to be the challenge of a lifetime for most couples.
Related: Do you wish you knew how to genuinely get what you want in marriage? Click here.
We’d all like to believe that we are people of infallible faith and that the need for quick satisfaction is for worldly folks who don’t have our capacity for long-suffering. Yet, when you consider that approximately half of all marriages end in divorce, it is clear that many of us have bought into the world’s microwave mentality and want the perfect marriage quick, fast and in a hurry.
We’re willing to give marriage the old college try, but when the road gets rough, we’re ready to send it back to the manufacturer for a full refund.
The only problem is that when it comes to holy matrimony, God is the manufacturer and the refund policy is pretty strict. When considering whether or not to break your vows, you must count up the costs. To be clear, let’s look at 10 not-good–enough reasons to call it quits.
They Don’t Make Enough Money
It is important for your spouse, particularly your husband, to provide. However, be careful not to mistake making less money for a lack of ambition. Many people don’t discover their calling until much later in life. Sticking with your mate and supporting his/her dreams might be a wise investment in your own future.
They’ve Let Themselves Go
It’s not fun to watch your spouse decline in physical appearance. You want them to stay the sexy, thin, and well-dressed person you fell in love with, but it doesn’t warrant divorce. Physical appearance can always be worked on and is not a good enough reason to discount someone’s inner qualities.
Bad Habits
Smoking, drinking too much, dropping f-bombs, etc. are all not easy to accept. Yet, a supportive, encouraging, and praying spouse might do more to inspire change than divorce ever could.
Depression
Watching someone mope around, blame others, and play the victim can be annoying and seemingly intolerable. Yet, this is where a committed, positive, and uplifting spouse can be the example for a mate who’s lost his/her way. Divorce is likely to contribute to the issue, rather than resolve it.
They Don’t Understand Me
We are all changing, growing, and expanding mentally, emotionally and spiritually with each passing day. This ongoing transformation means that there will be times, maybe even years, when your spouse just doesn’t get you. That’s okay! Keep teaching your spouse about who you are rather than being angry that it’s not instinctual.
Lack of Emotional Support
This is a common complaint, particularly for wives. Men are not naturally emotional and they tend to show their love through task-oriented accomplishments. You can work on asking directly for what you want and need emotionally. In the meantime, go to God, friends, and other family members for that support. I believe most men grow emotionally with age and experience. Raising children also helps this process. Don’t rush to divorce before you give God a chance to move.
This was a great read! And I see you my fellow Bison! Keep working hard. You have my support
Yes ma’am! HU Bison for life! Thank you for the read and for the compliment. I’m trying to get my blog off the ground so please like Get Lifted Girl on Facebook. God bless!
Yes ma’am! HU Bison for life! Thank you for the read and for the compliment. I’m trying to get my blog off the ground so please like Get Lifted Girl on Facebook. God bless!