Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am 25-year-old black single female with no children. I am writing you because I am having a hard time bonding with men. I don’t know where to begin. I just do not trust men. My father left when I was 12 after he abused my mother for years, and my two brothers are dogs. I want to be in a relationship, but I am afraid of being hurt. I have tried a … [Read more...]
3 Big Reasons Why You Have and Will Always Have Relationship Drama
It’s one of the most challenging things to deal with in relationship coaching. When you have clients who continue to have the exact same issues over and over again in their relationships. Often, I find these issues continuously reoccur because of deeper issues in the couple’s or individual’s personal development. And through the years, a few things have stood out to … [Read more...]
These 4 ‘Selfish’ Acts Healed My Marriage and They Can Heal Yours Too
I don’t think there’s anything that can prepare you for marriage, and, as hard as it’s been for my husband and me to navigate, it’s also been the absolute best thing for me as a woman. My husband and I have been married for just over ten years now, and, just like any other marriage, it’s had its ups and downs. But about five years into our marriage, a light bulb went off in … [Read more...]
10 Reasons to End Your Marriage That Are Simply Just Not Good Enough
By: CC Jean, LMSW Our society is all about instant gratification. We want it, and we want it now! Furthermore, when we get it, it better be on point. We are accustomed to entitlement and are quick to hold others accountable for causing us the slightest displeasure. This insistence on perpetual satisfaction might work for you at the Wal-Mart customer service desk, but … [Read more...]
Singles, 10 Ways to go from Selfish to Selfless
It's not about you. It's not about you. It's not about you. Singles, we have the misconception we often feed, that we can be some selfish creatures. Some books and other people will tell you that being single is a stage of enlightenment and a time to only be "taking care of me" and other clichés that come with false independence. That kind of thinking fits very well with how … [Read more...]
How do I Serve Her Better by Putting Her First?
If you haven’t read the book, “The Five Love Languages,” by Dr. Gary Chapman, I suggest it as excellent reading to continue to grow a healthy relationship, or help to heal a broken relationship. While it takes more than a book to build our relationship, one thing is certain, there is action required to serve another human being. There is no way around it. Our narcissistic … [Read more...]
Reasons Why “We” Are More Important Than “Me” in Marriages
I stand before you with a confession to make. I’ve been caught red handed and I am GUILTY. Myself along with some other men aren’t guilty of cheating or infidelity, but we stand before you guilty of being men that actually have FEELINGS. We stand before you guilty of desiring a little appreciation from our women without it turning into a competition of who did what and why. … [Read more...]
It Just May Be You: 4 Annoying Traits That Could Be Ruining Your Relationships
A strong or successful relationship often starts long before you meet that person. Whether it's a friendship, acquaintance, or marriage, it starts within. We all can easily think of great relationships we have with people, and the not so great relationships we have with people. More often than not, there is a common denominator for the not-so-great relationships. Sometimes it's … [Read more...]
Do You Serve Your Spouse? If You Don’t, Here is Why You Should.
I am not ashamed to say that serving my husband brings me joy. I don't know if it is women's lib or the bad state of current day relationships, but some people are going to have a problem with that statement. "Girl..you're not a slave..you don't work for that man!" While it is true that I am not a slave and I don't work for my husband, I know that when I put his needs before … [Read more...]