Time tends to fix an issue of immaturity far better than divorce. If you refuse to condone or enable immature behavior, it will likely self-correct with age. If you married straight out of high school or college, some immaturity is to be expected.
A Bad Attitude
Your spouse’s unpleasant demeanor could indicate an unresolved emotional history that might be helped with your understanding and support. If your spouse knows that someone is willing to take the time to understand their issues without judgement, it could be what inspires introspection and a new attitude.
They Don’t Pay You Enough Attention
We all want our spouse’s undivided attention. However, part of maturing is accepting that sometimes other responsibilities take priority. Before you decide to walk away, be sure that your desire for more attention is not rooted in your own impaired self-esteem.
A selfish mate can make anyone want to bounce, but if you are serious about that ‘for better or for worse’ thing, showing him/her the error of their ways is the only way to go. God’s love is what ends up helping us get outside of ourselves, a spouse’s love has the power to do the same.
Related: Divorced couples can teach us a thing or two about marriage. Click here to read all about it.
Here’s the thing – if God can stand with us through all of our foolishness, why do we struggle to show our spouses the same grace? Though there are circumstances in which stepping away from your marriage for your own safety and healing is necessary, too many of us are bailing too soon, assuming that perpetual happiness is possible with a better mate.
Needing to feel warm and fuzzy about your spouse and your relationship every day is not only unrealistic, but something God never promised.
In fact, scripture tells us plainly to expect troubles as they perfect our faith. Yes, the day-to-day grind of married life is far different from the ending of a Tyler Perry flick; but bearing with the rough years could be what eventually results in your happy ending.
It is my belief that commitment drives marriages that last a lifetime. Happiness is a byproduct of that commitment, though not a constant guarantee. Many of us are walking away from spouses who still have the potential to become all that God has called them to be.
This may come as a shock, but your spouse may be praying for some changes in you as well. If you expect someone to bear with you, shouldn’t you do the same? You don’t want to regret divorce, especially if your ex has finally changed, but is now giving someone else your happily ever after.
BMWK, what other reasons are simply just not good enough to walk away from your marriage?
CC Jean is a proud graduate of Howard University where she earned a BA in Communications. She later earned her MSW degree from the Rutgers University School of Social Work. CC currently works as a Clinical Social Worker, serving people with mental health and substance abuse disorders. She’s been married to husband Dorin for fourteen years and they are the parents of three children. CC is the founder of getliftedgirl.org and is committed to using her faith, humor and love for writing to spiritually and emotionally empower today’s woman of color. Follow her at https://getliftedgirl.org/ or like getliftedgirl.org on Facebook. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.