It’s not about you. It’s not about you. It’s not about you. Singles, we have the misconception we often feed, that we can be some selfish creatures. Some books and other people will tell you that being single is a stage of enlightenment and a time to only be “taking care of me” and other clichés that come with false independence. That kind of thinking fits very well with how the world thinks, but as believers we have to realize that selfishness gets you nowhere in life, and relationships, in the long run.
While taking the time to get to know self is good if not vital, turning it into a full-on campaign for years can affect others around you. There’s a thin line drawn that can get easily crossed when we let flesh, not spirit, take control of how we consider our lives.
We all have that one “selfish friend” in our lives that could use a lesson in caring about others for a change. Please share this list I’m about to give you with them this week. God is a relational Father and He is the last one that you can say is selfish, God gives His all! It’s hard that we know this and still act up, throw tantrums and get mad at Jesus when we want to act out in our flesh when things don’t go our way, when people we like don’t like us, when we’re not getting all the attention. I could go on.
When women and men get engaged, they often haven’t dealt with their selfishness, and that will try to creep into the marriage. The word says that what God puts together, let no man put asunder. That mean’s your self too. There’s no room for an “all about me” attitude in marriage. Selfish people do not make for good spouses, take note of that when you are dating as well.
If you want to test your selfishness or want to know ways to be a better single in preparation for marriage, review this list I received in part from a singles meeting. We all have to get away from selfish behavior, so God can move in us and through us without interruption in life and love:
- Educate yourself on marriage; read Godly books on the realities of marriage.
- Think about other peoples’ favorite things and be a more thoughtful giver.
- Break one bad habit (besides being selfish).
- Create a new good habit.
- Challenge yourself to try new things that benefit others.
- Give God all of your selfishness, be real and open about what you want to change and God will do it.
- Pray for your future spouse now; cover them in prayer, speak life and favor over them.
- Take care of your finances; do your best to tackle financial issues before bringing them in a relationship
- Volunteer cheerfully; do for those in need, who do not have means to pay you back.
- Pursue your purpose passionately; your pursuit of the right things bring the right people into your life.
BMWK fam, in what ways are you changing your selfish habits? Share below!
Erynn Haskins says
Wonderful. I can say it seems to be that we live in a world where we glorify selfishness and self improvement. It’s good to read a perspective like this that makes us think about the power of being selfless and giving to others. We cant just live one sided and you made a great reference to God. We should all aspire to be that way.
Tatianah G says
Thank you for your feedback, Erynn!