It could be the face of your next door neighbor, your mother, or the student in your class.
Sarah – A bruised arm and a scarf around her neck that hides the scars where he swept her off her feet not because he loved her, but because his anger was out of control and with his bare hands he raised her small body off the floor hands wrapped around her neck.
Rita – this was the last time he would fight her. She had bought herself a gun. No more was she going to go through this nonsense. Just as she predicted here we go again. She had done nothing to spark the rage. Rage just lived on the inside of him. This time she pulled a gun and then she pulled the trigger. The gun jammed. Was this a blessing or a curse? He grabbed her and they struggled. He forced the weapon from her hand. He didn’t shoot but hit her with the gun.
Kevin – Dad is supposed to protect. How can this be right? I don’t want him here. Mom says we are still here because God hates divorce. She tells her friends we are here because a child needs two parents. I hear them when they talk.
Brenda – No one knew she was abused until it was too late. It was too late because she committed suicide. Perhaps she felt it was better to die than to live in the pain and suffering she endured within the prison that was supposed to be her home. Only she knows and she is no longer her to share with us.
Calvin – She hits him in fits of rage. She has even spit on him before. He thinks he can help her change. He doesn’t see this as abuse, yet abuse is what it is. It fits the definition of abnormal use. Still he stays.
Domestic abuse comes in many forms. It may be evident or hard to detect. The violence goes beyond physical abuse. In actuality the abuse most times begins in other forms and escalates to physical abuse. Excessive controlling tendencies, mental badgering, and fear are all forms of abuse.
Maybe you have been a victim of abuse or know someone who has. In either case it must be exposed.
The names above are fictitious but the stories true. They are not fairy tales, more like nightmares experienced at the hand of an abuser. They show the real faces behind domestic abuse. They are faces that look like yours and mine.
Abuse is felt in all communities; it knows no color, economic status, religion, or geographical location. It is a tragedy that is felt throughout a family unit and can cross generational lines. It is an epidemic that must be stopped and healing must take plac:
Potential Signs of abuse:
- Changes in attire – long sleeves or turtlenecks in warm weather to cover scars.
- Making excuses or blaming self for a partner’s bad behavior.
- A person is afraid of not pleasing thier partner.
- Partner has excessive or uncontrolled anger.
- Partner has excessive or uncontrolled jeaulousy.
- Isolation – not allowed to visit family and friends. Family and friends are not allowed to come over.
- The victim is not allowed to go anywhere alone, the abuser is always present.
- Partner limits access to phone, car, or money.
It’s time to stand up for the wounded. It’s time to make some noise about the wrong that goes on behind closed doors and shed some light on what needs to be made right. No more remaining silent.
BMWK: Do you know anyone who has been a victim of Domestic Violence? Have you ever seen any of these signs before?