With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, many singles are bound to be looking for love. Too often, however, many end up looking for love in all the wrong places. In particular, some who wear the name “Christian” find themselves in a bind because, sadly, they believe the church is the last place they’ll find a spouse who shares their values. If you’re confused about how to find a real Christian spouse, we hope these five tips get you moving in the right direction.
5 Ways to Tell You’ve Found a Real Christian Spouse
In this article:
- You’re a real Christian
- They share the same values you do
- You trust but verify – date but give it time
- Trust God
- Be patient
In response to a recent poll we conducted on Instagram, one of our followers wondered how they could find a spouse rooted in real Christian values. As we continued scrolling through the post, we realized there were many who shared the same sentiment. If you’re a Christian, how do you find someone who not only claims to be one but is wholeheartedly living the Christian life?
At first, that question might seem odd. I mean, shouldn’t your church be the first place you look? Well, I’ve heard many people say that church people are some of the biggest hypocrites. I have to say though, I hate generalizations. There are some hypocrites in churches. There are many true followers of Christ in churches…and elsewhere. You just have to know what to look for.
You’re a real Christian
If you’re a Christian, you should be able to identify the hypocrites or the not so Christian more easily. If you are living by the Word, then you can easily see the Word in others. You can’t spot what you’re not familiar with. All the qualities of Christianity that matter to you most, make sure you’re living them yourself.
They share the same values you do
As you get to know someone, you start to learn about their values. In your dating life, ask questions about the things that matter most when it comes to their walk with God. Are their values in alignment with yours and the scriptures? What do they think about:
- Professional goals
Taking the time to talk about these things will help you learn a person’s heart and mind. It’s a great way to begin to figure out if they view things through lens of faith.
Trust but verify
Of course, anyone can say anything. I think when aiming to find a person of faith to commit to in a lifelong relationship, you should ask a lot of questions. But I also think it’s equally important to verify the answers.
As you get to know them, get to know their family and friends as best as you can. Who do they hang out with? Where are they spending their time? Get to know them through their friends. If they are putting on a show when they’re around you, time will tell. So, even if you are dating, take 1 Timothy 4:16 to heart and “watch (their) life and (their) doctrine closely.”
When all is said and done, you can’t know it all. That’s what God is there for. If you are solid in your faith and trust in God, he will lead you to a real Christian spouse. He will also protect you from spiritual danger. Allow God to have full control of your life, but your love life in particular, as you wait for or search for the one he has in store for you.
Unfortunately, one terrible mistake you can make as single is to get carried away by your emotions if you find yourself interested in someone. Believing you’ve found the one, you fall into one of two traps rooted in the same flaw – impatience.
Impatience makes you overlook character issues that clearly don’t align with your values or your faith. You become blind to the other person’s sins and continue a relationship that is clearly not good for you spiritually. Impatience also makes you let the standards and morals you have set for yourself fall by the wayside because you are eager to get married.
If you truly want to find a Christian spouse, patience will play an important role in finding the one God has in store for you.
Hopefully, these five tips will help you in your search for a real Christian spouse. Whether you find them at church, work, or the neighborhood coffee shop, don’t settle for less than what your spiritual heart desires.
BMWK, are you ready to find your Christian spouse?