When I tell people how long my husband and I have been together, I usually get the jaw drops and wide eyes. And yes, 16 years sounds like a long time, with ten years of marriage, but it honestly doesn’t feel that long.
I know. I used to look at people like they were crazy when they said stuff like that, and now I’m saying stuff like that because I get it. I get it because those people that were saying those things were happy.
It didn’t seem like a long time because they were secure in their marriage and they were enjoying life. When you make plans and write down your goals, ten years is forever. But when you’re enjoying a ridiculously happy marriage, ten years seems like one or two.
Here are 5 simple ways to have a ridiculously happy marriage.
1. Have faith no matter what
It’s amazing to me to see how far we’ve come in our faith, not only as a couple, but also as individuals. I had to learn that I couldn’t walk my husband’s faith walk for him.
Our spiritual journey has gone through an emotional roller coaster. But “we’ve come this far by faith”. No matter what obstacles or challenges we’re faced with, we’ve learned to replace our stress with faith.
2. Believe that happy marriages exist
No, the divorce rate hasn’t really gone down. People appear to be getting divorced faster than those walking down the aisle. It’s heartbreaking to hear a couple that you just know will be together for a lifetime, out of the “blue,” announce their plans for divorce.
Both parties have to believe that happy marriages do and can exist for them. We are a product of what we believe and it took me awhile to learn this, but it is so true. If you don’t believe it deep down, then that is what you are ultimately wishing for – an unhappy marriage.
3. Forgive often and wholeheartedly
One of my favorite quotes by Robert Quillen says: “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers”- very short but powerful words.
- Are you quick to harden your heart when your spouse wrongs you or does something that hurts you?
- Do you have conversations with your spouse about your frustrations and disappointments?
In order to truly forgive, you have to be willing to communicate and let go…often.
The mistake many make (and I was one of them), is that we think it’ll be a one time thing.
But a happy marriage takes not only falling in love over and over again with the same person, but also extending open forgiveness to that same person time and time again.
4. Have FUN
For crying out loud, you should be having fun in your marriage! And if you’re not, you need to go back to the beginning and start doing those things that brought you together.
I cringe when people focus on how “marriage is hard work.” I prefer to say that marriage is fun work! It’s all about what you focus on that gives it life. When you focus on good, good will come. When is the last time you really had fun together?
5. Date and Vacation without the kiddos
It took us some time to get into the swing of things, but we’ve decided to make our marriage a priority. And we can’t focus on our marriage if we are constantly having to break up fights or keep answering every little need of our three children.
We’ve taken vacations without the kids and we date regularly with out the kids. We work opposite schedules and we also homeschool, so time is certainly precious. But we’ve made the choice to make our time together non-negotiable.
BMWK, How can you have a ridiculously happy marriage?