To all the Christian ladies out there, are you wondering why Christian men prefer dating a non-Christian woman? When I started talking about this topic, I was surprised by how many single Christian men spoke up. They shared their own reasons as to why they no longer date or marry Christian women, and that is what I want to share with you all today.
In this article:
- There Is More than Meets the Eye
- Unvalued
- Your Pastor, Deacon, and Church Family
- Too Busy
- No Other Exposure
- Too Sanctimonious
- Outside His Social Circle
- Not Submissive
- Not Feminine Enough
- Two-Faced
- Not a Prize
- Always Preaching—Not Listening
- Can’t Date Jesus
Why Do Christian Men Prefer Dating a Non-Christian Woman | The Men Speak Up
There Is More than Meets the Eye
In my previous article, I asked why do Christian men prefer dating a non-Christian woman. Referencing some of the high profile Christian pastors and leaders who have turned to Hollywood to find their mates (Pastor Devon Franklin and actress Meagan Good, Gospel artist Israel Houghton and singer/talk show host Adrienne Bailon, Pastor Jamal Bryant and R&B singer Tweet, etc.).
In that article, I spoke with single Christian women to get the reasons they’ve encountered as to why they were being overlooked for less-traditional church girls and women outside the church altogether, as well as the challenges they face with Christian dating.
Little did I know that single Christian men would be so vocal regarding this topic. I received countless emails, social media post, and instant messages. The men were ready to talk and express their feelings regarding this hot-button topic.
Ladies, hold on because some of the answers you might not be ready for. And also, note, this is not an attack on all Christian women; it’s just the perception of these men. So please remember, I am just the messenger.
[Before going any further, I would like to apologize to the men. In my previous article, my intention was to share what seemed to be taking place more frequently in the church. It was never to imply that “all” Christian men were guilty of this behavior, so I apologize if that sentiment was implied.]
Here are the top 12 answers that I repeatedly received as to why Christian men (between the ages of 30-55) date outside of the church.
Unvalued
Men say they need to feel valued and needed. They claim Christian women do a poor job of making a man feel that way. Christian women act as if they have a chip on their shoulder and don’t need or want a man because they have Jesus. So, the men go where they are wanted and needed.
Nice exposé!
I agree. This is good information for both men and women to be armed with. I’ve been exposed to a very broad mix of cultures in various churches in my nearly half century of living and I’ve experienced a lot of this, most often by far, among Christian’s of ethnicity but its my experience that these issues are especially pronounced in my community; the black community and I believe it’s definitely cultural. We (blacks/African Americans) have a lot of healing and building to do, as a culture. I think there’s no better place to begin than the discussion, the healing and the building than the church.
I think most of these answers are simply cop-outs! In fact, almost every one of the reasons listed are not really issues unique to christian women, but MOST women! I think christian men should keep it real with themselves… if a christian woman is not your cup of tea, just say so. But don’t come up with these reasons, because you’re gonna find these issues in the dating scene… church girl or not!
Just my $.02
Kevin, I totally agree!! Cop outs for not at least trying to be a godly man while dating! I found it strange that sex was not mentioned as a reason, because we KNOW that Christian men (and women) are “getting busy” though they’re not married! I hear it all the time. Whereas a woman who isn’t a Christian, that won’t be as much of an issue, which is exactly where some “godly” men wanna go!! Step up and be the man Hid has called you to be and I’ll bet you find Christian women who will be the women you want them to be!!
I dont date Christian women mainly cause of the flakery. If God wills it and justifying all emotions with bible and scripture when in reality it’s just their own voice. Gossip,if it doesnt work out oh the talk that goes around church and all the sisters dont wanna know you. When they describe a Godly man they want he sounds more like a pastor and how many actually have this calling?
You dont really get to know the woman at church you get to know their Christian persona, who are they really? Who knows youre talk9ng too much Christianese to find out who they actually are. Then theres the legalism formed on how a date should he when in reality dating is the exact same way just without the fornication, I mean c’mon, should know what the sins are by now why create legalistic approach to dating.. A lot of women create this web of legalism not for Godliness but more so to protect themselves from getting hurt, but instead it just keeps brothers away, so in that respect it’s working you will never get a chance to be hurt. I stopped a long time ago and have noticed even marriages within the church are at an all time high.
I think you should interview real Christian men the next time.
I think some of whats written here..may be painfully true…but it actually goes both ways..as Ive also seen men exhibit some of these things the women are said to
These are the most honest responses that I have personally have dealt with myself. I refuse to meet and or date another woman from church as a result. My business is none of the pastors, he should focus on his wife and not my relationship..