No one wants to find out that someone they are interested in is no longer into them. Breakups, falling out, etc. can hurt the heart. Unfortunately the emotional wounds can occur from the “getting to know you” stage all the way up to committed relationships. When a man stops calling you, you have several ways to respond. Some I’ve been through and perhaps you can relate:
“I just want to know what I did wrong.”
You may want closure from the breakup or ending of communication with this guy. You long to hear the “truth” about why you’re no longer together, so you can have some clarity or understand what went wrong. This was a response in insecurity. You take the rejection as a personal thing when the man could have left for reasons regarding his own issues.
From personal experience, knowing a man’s reason why he’s just not into you anymore is really none of your business unless God reveals it to you. A man’s reasons for leaving you alone, especially if he hasn’t proved himself to be a qualified candidate for marriage, should relieve you! He saved you the responsibility of doing what we all dread: initiating the breakup. Remember a man’s opinion or lack thereof cannot compare to what the Lord thinks about you.
Don’t chase after him or try to meet up to get answers unless prompted to do so in your spirit. Make peace with the decision and move forward. Some men just leave good women. Some good men leave women who think they’re good. But who God has for you will come, and that may depend on you loving yourself, being whole and prepared for His best. That may take time, but the response is to not beat yourself up, get depressed, get defensive and bitter, but give it all up to God.
“I don’t need him anyway; I can do bad by myself”
I can recall replaying the scenes and memories in my head over and over, trying to find some kind of way to justify why the guy was not as good of a guy as he said he was, that he’s missing out, and whatever else we say to ourselves to stroke our ego. We spend time with that one friend that instigates the situation and the moment becomes a temporary salve over that fresh heart wound.
In this case you’re responding with pride, not being humble enough to 1) Let go and let God handle your hurt and 2) See the mistakes you may have made and learn the lessons from that. Get over the fact that you were wrong about him and humble yourself before God. He will lift you up and get you back on the right path He made for you without a chip on your shoulder or resentment in your heart towards men.
Beautiful! Words of wisdom
Thank you, God bless!
Thank you so much for this. I am currently going through this in my life. I’ve ignored God while I was putting this man first. I am taking the vow from here on out..I am putting God first.
Thank you for this but what is crazy when I lose communication I let it go and give it to God but after a month or two he comes back. This has been going on for a year June 1st. I do not put him before God at least I don’t think so. I mean I still pray and give thanks everyday and go to church every Sunday. The peace is present when he is away I do speak my mind and let go. I am not sure why he keeps coming back. One think I can say is every time he comes back he seems better and a changed person. The off and on it such a turn off I am a little distance with him because I don’t know what he is up to. I do pray for Gods guidance with this and he tells me what to do but I don’t want to wait on this guys for nothing. I just done know about this friendship.
… this time he comes back, ask clearly and calmly for solid commitment (marriage for me, you best know your preference). He either decides to commit completely or leave. GOODLUCK
Thank you. I am a muslim but my faith is exactly the same. I am trusting Allah to plan best for me. Its simply not possible that put our faith in Allah and almighy lets us down. No way …
…. thank you. You have a beautiful mind and soul. Allah bless you.
I am also currently experiencing this. I truly do enjoy reading your articles and I am a work in progress!!!