1. Learn How to Start a Conversation

There are hundreds of ways to start a conversation. My rule of thumb for conversation starters is to ‘comment on the now’. Whatever is happening right now, comment on that. ‘That’s a nice cell phone. What kind is that?’, ‘These trains are never on time!’, ‘I love your shoes. They’re cute…but are they comfortable?’. Come up with three conversation starters. Practice them. Get them down pat. Use them on people you know first. Gauge their responses. Having a tested successful conversation starter is a great confidence builder because it removes the awkward ‘what do I say’ feeling you have in social settings.

2.  Practice Eye Contact and Smiling

Remember when you use to get caught in a lie with your mother and she would say, ‘look me in the eyes and tell me what happened’ to see if you were lying. There is something very powerful about eye contact. Your eyes convey authenticity. If you don’t feel confident, it will show in your eyes. You’ll tend to look away or avoid direct eye contact. However, confident people will look you straight in the eyes when talking to you. To build your confidence, practice looking people in the eyes and smiling. Do it at work, on the train, on the bus. Pick 20 random people and practice looking them in the eye, smiling, and saying ‘hello’ (so some other salutation). Notice their reaction. I bet they will smile back at you. Some will even give off a good vibe like it’s okay to approach them. This exercise will build your confidence so when you see a woman you want to approach, you will know if she’s receptive based on how she responds to your eye contact and smile.