It was laundry time and I was down to my last and least favorite bra. Throughout the day, the bra was a nuisance and made me really appreciative of my good bras. And when I thought about it some more, I realized that the qualities of a good bra can also be found in a good husband. Here are four of them. A good bra and a good husband will never stab you in the back. The … [Read more...]
Why “Paying Yourself First” Isn’t Always About Saving Money
I had a sobering realization a few months ago. I realized that I care more about money than I do my body. YIKES! While I never walked around tapping strangers on the shoulders to say, “Excuse me, Miss, but I really don’t care as much about my physical fitness as I do my financial fitness,” all of my actions confirmed it. The data did not lie. I am in better … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Use Your Phone to Keep the Communication and Sexiness Flowing in Your Marriage
I will be married for two years this November. Super stoked. Getting to a place of peace, respect, and intimacy, though, took a lot of deliberate practice, a lot of mistakes, and a lot of trial and error. (Anyone that says that marriage should be effortless and not require work needs to take a seat…all the way in the back.) In the last two years, I have found that marriage … [Read more...]
The Only Tool You’ll Ever Need to Increase the Amount of Sex, Connection, and Happiness You Experience in Your Marriage
For a while, my husband and I were not on the same page. I felt that we did not go out enough. He felt that we went all of the time. I felt that we were not connecting enough. He agreed: he felt that the number of rolls in the hay could increase even though I was not talking about sex, I was referring to talking. I was tired of the fighting and realized that I did not want … [Read more...]
Top 4 Reasons Why He Won’t Commit and 3 Ways to Deal With It
Do you ever feel like you're dating a wishy washy man? One day you're in a relationship. The next day he isn't ready to commit. One day he loves you. The next day he wants to take it slow. Why won't he just seal the deal and commit? And what should you do when you find yourself in this situation? I want to take you into the mind of men and share how they think about … [Read more...]
3 Tips for Getting Back Into the Dating Scene
Are you wondering how to get back into the dating scene? Maybe you're dating after divorce or a long-term relationship. Or, you may be like the average single in the U.S. who hasn't been on a date in 2 years or more! If so, you may have questions about how the dating game has changed, what your role is in finding "The One," and why you're struggling with finding quality people … [Read more...]
Why You Shouldn’t Take a Break from Dating
A common question I get from people is "Should I take a break from dating?" These people are either burned out on online dating, coming out of a long relationship or divorce, or scared to get back into the dating game and they're confused by advice like: "Don't date until you're 100% happy being single." "Enjoy your life. Focus on your career. Spend time traveling." "Spend … [Read more...]
Can I Get Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T from my Elders?
At a recent convention, my sister and I were interacting with attendees—young and old—as we were selling our new book on personal transformation and self healing. At one point, two older ladies, probably in their mid-to-late 60’s, came by our booth to talk to us. As they were asking us questions about the book, one of them very directly asked, “Well how old are you two? If … [Read more...]
How to Release Self-Doubt So You Can Live the Life that You Want
My mom always told me that I was a sensitive child. Being sensitive has its benefits: I am perceptive; I look for peace, not war; I try to live and let live. On the other hand, being a sensitive child that turned into a sensitive adult, I struggled with the fear of getting hurt and being rejected. For decades, I would avoid situations that would force me to grow because I … [Read more...]
4 Reasons to Remember That Our Kids Are Watching Us
It's no secret that our kids are always watching us. They are watching our every move, as parents, whether good or bad. Not only are they watching, they are listening, too! I realized this a few years ago when my, then 4 year old, daughter called me out for abruptly ending a conversation with my husband without saying, "I love you!" Just to let you in on a little secret, we … [Read more...]
5 Ways Feminism Improved My Marriage
Since sophomore year in college, feminism has been my source of security, inspiration, courage, and faith. It has provided me with the emotional and intellectual tools that I needed to piece together the scattered narratives of my past and the strength and wisdom to hold out for the future that I wanted. Feminism, the set of beliefs aimed at defining, establishing, and … [Read more...]
4 Ways to Increase the Level of Financial Intimacy in Your Marriage
I define financial intimacy as a couple’s ability to communicate how they will jointly use money to run their daily lives, as well as, meet their short term and long term goals. Even though we crave emotional intimacy and insist on spiritual and sexual intimacy in our marriage, we sometimes fail to see how a lack of financial intimacy impacts all other intimacies. Think … [Read more...]
How to Be SMART, Not Strong when Saving Money
In Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism Bell Hooks, intellectual and cultural critic, discusses the downfall of one of the more unilateral characteristics that black people in general, and black women, in particular, pride ourselves on. As Hooks explains it, strength has more to do with the ability to endure than the ability to overcome. And it's true. As it relates to … [Read more...]
9 Easy (and Mostly Free) Ways to Love on Yourself Today
So many of us look for others to show us the same love that we have yet to show ourselves. But how can someone love you more than you love yourself? I’ve learned that you will always attract to yourself who you are. So if you want to attract the right people into your life who will appreciate you, you’ve got to show yourself some appreciation. Here are a few easy ways to … [Read more...]
I Got Fired Last Month; 4 Things that I Learned from It
I was sitting in class when I got an email from one of the places at which I freelance. The editor decided to keep the message short and sweet. The department had decided to go in a different direction and would no longer need freelance writers for content. At the end of the email, I was wished “the best of luck with my future endeavors.” Ouch. I felt my heart sink into … [Read more...]