I was watching a video of one of my favorite motivational speakers, Eric Thomas, a.k.a ET the Hip Hop Preacher and something he was talking about stayed with me. He mentioned that he had just dropped his daughter off at her ACT exam after he had been up late the night before. He was talking about the fact that being present in his children’s lives is something he must do … [Read more...]
Men: These 3 Moldable Character Traits Will Help You Effectively Change Your Life and Lead Your Home
Men sometimes struggle with leadership in the home because of all of the complexities of a household. Things ranging from blended families, to finances, to career decisions are among the complex issues that need an insightful committee chair and responsible decision maker. As a coach, I study what good leaders in business bring to the table, because I think it translates … [Read more...]
Why Being A Hypocrite To Your Own Values Can Destroy Your Relationships
A client recently had an interesting conundrum: The client was struggling with believing something she was doing in her relationship was not up to her standards, but she continued the behavior to satisfy someone else. She was struggling with her value system. Many of us struggle with our value system because we haven’t addressed what we hold as our own personal … [Read more...]
The First Year of Marriage Does Not Have To Be The Hardest
My wife and I just completed our first year of marriage. People told us that the first year of marriage would be difficult. I never put much thought into the notion because I knew from the beginning marriage is going to require work. As long as we were willing to commit to put in the work, I knew we would be fine. Consequently, we have had a great first year of marriage! … [Read more...]
Honesty – How to Make Sure Your Word Is Your Bond In a Relationship
There are so many well intentioned men in the world. I understand why I hear so many stories of what a man tells a woman, but then ends up in disappointment. It’s not always so much that he lied blatantly to her, but what he omitted may have been pretty important. As men, when we are developing relationships, we want to show a woman we can lead and be the best person we … [Read more...]
Why You Should Try Walking a Day in Your Spouse’s Shoes
I was having a conversation recently about how some of us waste our time and talents by taking them for granted. By not being in tune with the blessing God has for each of us. I got a lot out of the conversation, but the most important thing I received, I would like to share with you. Looking at someone’s talent on the surface is just that—it’s on the surface. It’s the … [Read more...]
Singles: How to Know When to Draw the Line on Your Relationship
This one is for singles out there who continue to run into challenges during the dating process when it comes to deciding what is tolerable for their particular relationship. None of us are perfect, so I’m not addressing each imperfection. But, it’s imperative to strive to be the best significant other we can be as we are working toward marriage. I continue to hear others … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Support Your Spouse’s Dreams, Even If You Don’t Understand Their Vision
One of the key elements in our relationships, that we take for granted, is the ability to support each other’s dreams and goals. Being supportive of each other is often the foundation of how we build our lives together. I want to share three ways that you can can support your spouse as they execute toward their ambitious goals. 1. Encourage Them People outside of our close … [Read more...]
When You Marry for Better, But it’s Always Worse
It seems lately many of the themes of my interactions with couples and individuals in relationships has been about reconciliation. It’s challenging to decide when is enough simply enough. It’s equally challenging to make the conscious decision you are going to fight for your marriage, no matter what. The real question is always how you decide what is important enough to you … [Read more...]
Dictatorship or Democracy? Are you Leading Your Family or Ruling Over Them?
One of the things I have learned in married life is how important the decision making process is. When we are single, individually, we are the only person who has to deal with the consequences of our actions and decisions. Once we are married, we have to consider the thoughts, needs and desires of others. We also have to look even deeper to how the decision affects the … [Read more...]
4 Myth-Busters about Valentine’s Day from a Man’s Point of View
Valentine’s Day is a day to honor our mates with symbols of our love and affection. The question becomes is Valentine’s Day a day to celebrate our spouses and significant others or it is a day exploited by Russell Stover’s, FTD and Hallmark? Likely, it’s some of both of those things, which brings us to the topic, what is the reality as opposed to the myths of Valentine’s … [Read more...]
How the Belly Button Rule is Used to Enhance Communication
Many of the clients I have been working with have had challenges with communication and I think it’s an important topic to discuss. Sometimes, those challenges are tone of voice, lack of paying attention or probably the most difficult to overcome, which is not being able to deliver the message you want your partner to hear. Even the most challenging relationships can take … [Read more...]
How do We Become Better in our Relationships?
A topic that has come up often recently in my conversations around relationships is about how to effectively become better in our relationships. It’s easy and very safe to say “I want to be a better husband, a better lover or a better father.” How do we truly implement the change to become better in whatever way we would like to improve our relationships? There are two … [Read more...]
Men, Do You Properly Protect and Serve Your Wife?
There are many relationships where the woman doesn't feel secure. I think there is an instinct in many women to want to feel secure, not only in the context of the relationship, but to feel secure in their livelihood with their spouse. I have heard financial guru Dave Ramsey say that women have a “security gene” that men just don’t have—and I think there is some truth to that. … [Read more...]
Two Steps to Getting on the Same Page Again
One of the more challenging things for my relationship clients is when things simply aren’t going well. They can’t exactly put their finger on the problem, but they know that there is a disconnect somewhere in the relationship. Arguments start that would never have happened before. Long silences happen because for some reason there is nothing to say. The natural tendency is … [Read more...]