Hey Dr. Buckingham, My name is Craig, and I have cheated on my wife a few times. I really love my wife and family, but I admit I think I have a problem. My wife wants to end our marriage, but I want to do whatever it takes to save what I truly want—my marriage and family! What kind of help do I need? Thanks in advance, Craig Dear Craig, Without knowing exactly what … [Read more...]
Why Your Spouse Doesn’t Need You to Be Brutally Honest
Brutal honesty is overrated. And this statement is coming from someone who values honesty above all other character traits. I think your word is all you have, and once I can’t trust your word, I don’t have much to talk to you about. One of the things I appreciate most about my marriage is my ability to trust my husband. So why am I knocking the idea of being brutally honest? … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why You Need to Stop Blaming Your Partner for Your Unhappiness
Are you unhappy? Are you living a life that just isn’t what you expected? Do you feel like things shouldn’t be the way they are and you are trying to figure out why? This happens to so many of us. You start down a path, expecting one thing, only to find what you expected just isn’t there. It’s disappointing at best, devastating at worse. And when we find ourselves … [Read more...]
If Your Man Doesn’t Have These 5 Qualities, He’s Not Husband Material
The decision to get married is a joyful decision, but it isn’t always an easy one. Of course there are instances when someone just knows the person they are dating is the “one,” but it’s not always that simple. Sometimes people have doubts. The presence of doubt can mean a lot of things, and doubt isn’t always a bad thing. As a matter of fact, doubt is sometimes present, so … [Read more...]
Unhappy in Your Marriage?10 Questions to Figure Out If Your Marriage Is Really the Problem
Life is hard for all of us. Some days are easier than others, but we all face challenges in our lives. Some challenges aren’t that difficult to navigate while others can knock us all the way down. One thing that can make challenges difficult to manage is trying to determine the root of the problem. Sometimes we blame one thing in our lives for the pain and frustration we are … [Read more...]
3 Super Fun Steps to Renew Your Marriage That You’ll Both Enjoy
We all know what happens when we fail to take care of something we love. It begins to change—no longer fresh or as strong as it once was. Whether it’s your hair, your body, your home or your marriage, failing to care for what matters most has negative consequences. And the lack of care doesn’t just happen overnight, nor is it always intentional. It’s something that builds up … [Read more...]
3 Major Reasons to Forgive Your Spouse (No Matter What)
Should you always forgive your spouse? I think you should. Even if something awful happened—infidelity, a serious betrayal or a hurtful mistake—you should forgive. Crazy idea? Maybe. But it’s the best idea. Is it easy to do? Not by a long shot. Forgiveness is rarely easy. It may be one of the toughest things you ever have to do during your marriage. You see, when we get … [Read more...]
4 Things You Need to Know Before You Go to Marriage Counseling
My husband and I attended premarital counseling before we got married. Finding the right counselor was a process. We attended a few sessions with one counselor, and after that counselor made a comment I found offensive, we decided he wasn’t the best fit (actually, I decided for us). After lots of research and phone calls, we finally found another counselor. I liked him a … [Read more...]
Here Are 5 Good Reasons to Stay in Your Marriage
Some things in life are worth fighting for, while others just aren’t. The decision about whether or not you should fight for something can be an easy one, but that usually isn’t the case. Usually, making that decision is tough. There’s often a lot to consider, and it can be hard to differentiate between what seems easiest and what’s actually best. So what do you do when the … [Read more...]
5 Topics You Need to Stop Avoiding If You Want Your Marriage to Last
Did you know that avoidance is coping mechanism? It’s certainly not a healthy one, but it’s a way for people to cope nonetheless. People try to avoid topics or situations that can make them feel uncomfortable in some way. By avoiding the situation, they avoid the pain, hurt, frustration, or discomfort that might come along with it. Avoidance makes people feel like they are … [Read more...]
Bad Communication: 5 Reasons Your Spouse Doesn’t Listen to You
I love talking to people. Frankly, I can be a chatterbox. My husband knew what he was signing up for, so he’s rolled with it, even though he’s a lot quieter than I am. I suppose we balance each other out. My son is quite the chatterbox as well, and my husband always laughs and looks at me when my son won’t stop talking. The apple doesn’t fall too far. With my love for … [Read more...]
Couples: Will this Be a Year of Building Up or Tearing Down Your Marriage?
I’ve always believed that inaction is actually a form of action. When you know a problem exists and you do nothing to help change things, you are making a strong statement about where you stand. If you know your marriage is not what you want it to be—what you hoped it would be—doing nothing to change things says a lot about where you stand. And sure, the lack of action … [Read more...]
5 Lies You Tell Yourself That Can Unexpectedly Ruin Your Marriage
If we were all able to accept our realities, there is no question that we would live happier, healthier lives. No matter how painful the truth seems, people who are truly in tune with what’s going on in their lives have the best chance of living happy ones. Embrace your personal truths and your life will change for the better. When you are unable to be honest with yourself … [Read more...]
What Happens When You Celebrate the Good in Your Spouse Instead of Focusing on the Bad
Most of us are tougher on ourselves than anyone else would ever be. Unfortunately, that means we can also be tougher on our spouses than anyone else would be. When we enter marriage, we all enter with a set of expectations. Our hope is that those expectations will be met. When they aren’t, we have a lot to say, and it’s typically not very pretty. But are our marital … [Read more...]
6 Simple Daily Habits that Will Put Your Marriage on Fleek!
I’ll be the first to admit that developing new habits is pretty tough for me. My guess is that it’s pretty tough for most people. As we get older, we get pretty set in our ways - good or bad. Trying a new way of doing things, even if we know it’s what’s best for us, can be pretty hard. But, it’s no surprise that developing new (and beneficial) habits can do a lot for the … [Read more...]