Few things are as uncomfortable for me as watching a woman, that I love, be someone that I know she’s not when her man is in the room. It bothers me to my core. And I know that when it comes to dating—particularly in the early dates—there is a tendency to put our best foot forward. I actually get that. But that’s not what I am talking about here. I am talking about those … [Read more...]
15 Signs You are Single-Handedly Sabotaging Your Marriage
Everyone always talks about how hard it is to build and sustain a healthy, happy relationship. And I agree. And no, it’s not all hard work. I have plenty of fun with my husband and I cherish all of those good times. But, I can definitely acknowledge that it’s not always fun and games. Sometimes it’s challenging as hell. But we all make decisions, every day, that can … [Read more...]
How I learned to Let My Husband Raise My Son
Sometimes blending those as step-family as there may be biological parents to deal with or the spouse entering the new family may find it difficult to parent someone else’s child. I had a two year old son when I met my husband and he had no children. The biological father really wasn’t a presence so there was no problem on that front. The problem was me. I had to learn to let … [Read more...]
Fellas: 9 First Date Tips that Will Make Sure You Get a Second Date
You’re on the first date and it is going well. You know you are attracted to her and you want to impress her. But, it's hard to gauge how she is feeling about you. And so you're trying to figure out how to finesse things into a second date. Don't worry...I've got you covered. Men I am about to drop some insider dating gems on you that you should immediately add to page … [Read more...]
Ladies, Can You Really Help a Man Grow Up?
Many women credit themselves as being nurturers, which is a great quality for mothers. But what about as wives and girlfriends? Is the pronouncement "I'm a nurturer by nature" really a woman's appeal to rationalize babying adult males? I purposely cited adult "males" not adult "men." Adult men don't need to be nurtured. Here's why. Nurture Let's begin by defining the term … [Read more...]
From Your Husband with Love; 5 Things Men Wish You Knew About Marriage
Dear Current & Future Wives, Okay, so let me go ahead and get this part out of the way! I know most women reading this first thought will be like “well, here we go again, why is it always about what women need to do.” All I ask you to do is read this letter with an open heart and mind and attempt to try and understand where many men are coming from so that we can bridge … [Read more...]
4 Books to Make Your Marriage Better, Tighter and Smoother
My husband Don and I have been married for 17 years, however, the first 15 were awfully tumultuous. We argued all the time and just could not get along. I now realize that I went into marriage thinking I would be a glorified girlfriend and that my husband would love me unconditionally until “death did we part.” That lasted all of three weeks. That’s it. The honeymoon and my … [Read more...]
Do You Have an In Case of Emergency Contact List for Marriage Support?
Conflict arises in marriage. And when that happens, it's natural to need an ear or a shoulder sometimes. We need our moments to vent and to get some helpful feedback. But we need to be careful that those we're allowing into our marriage aren't doing more harm than good with their advice, or lack thereof. Be sure that you're talking about your marriage with the right people by … [Read more...]
10 Things I Learned About Marriage from Watching the Obamas
When I look at relationships that I aspire to resemble in my own marriage, I look no further than our President and First Lady. To me, the Obamas are the epitome of a healthy, loving, marriage. As President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle conclude their last days in office, I want to thank them for being a wonderful example of marriage. Here are ten lessons I learned … [Read more...]
Would You Rather Be Wanted or Needed in a Relationship?
One of my followers on social media posed an interesting relationship question that she wanted me to answer along with other men who follow my posts on social media. She wanted to know what's on the minds of men. And in her inquiries, she asked a question that stood out to me: Is it better to be wanted or needed in a relationship? Although I answered the question some days … [Read more...]
3 Hard Lessons Learned When You’re Involved with an All-Talk, No-Action Mate
Relationships are hard work. This is obviously why couples seek out relationship coaches like me. And if you were to ask which particular challenge happens more than any other among my clients, I'd say it's when their partner's actions don't line up with their words. When actions don't align with words in a relationship that can be very problematic—and even toxic in some … [Read more...]
3 Things to Consider if You Are Only Staying with Him for the Kids
I grew up without a dad. He was a part of my life when I was under the age of 10, but not a consistent part. Sometimes he was present, but most of the time he wasn’t. I’m not sure why my mom put up with his foolishness, but I suspect she did it for us. She didn’t want us growing up without a father. There wasn’t any indication that she was head over heels in love with him. … [Read more...]
Ughh, She’s Always Bragging About Her Relationship; 4 Reasons to Stop Hating!
No one likes a bragger. Even when our kids brag, we pull them to the side to explain why it’s not the best way to express excitement about something. It can be a hard concept for kids to get, but we expect better from adults. We expect adults to remain humble and spare us from all the talk about how amazing their life is. But is it possible that sometimes we are wrong? That … [Read more...]
3 Lies the Media Tells about Black Men and How It’s Impacting Black Relationships
Have black men become obsolete? This sounds like a silly question to ask until you consider that black men seem to be almost non-existent in the lives of black women in film, television and news media. But, is this true? How does this media perception play out in real life. Let’s take a deeper look. Media “Affectations” How does the media play into this narrative? In my … [Read more...]
Fall Fashion Fails: 6 Things You Wear that Men Absolutely Hate
Summer is almost over. And you may be planning your fall wardrobe. As you know, I’m all about connecting Christian singles. But sometimes, we, women raise barriers we are unaware of. So today, I wanted to chat about fall fashion pitfalls. I am by no means a fashion expert. So, I asked the interwebs “what do most women wear that most men hate?” There were almost 9 million … [Read more...]