I had a chance, last week, to catch up with D.C. music producer/song writer, and owner of Fire Drop Music Group, Don Cox. Don is a humble, down to earth brother with a powerful story that he wants to share with men by exposing the often silent, inner battle that men have with depression. Depression is a form of mental illness that so many men, particularly African American men are fighting through, often unaware or in silence. It is one of those issues that rarely gets talked about, but in recent years more attention is being shone on depression to the rise of instances of depression and suicide amongst African American men. But Don Cox, wants to bring the discussion to the forefront, in hopes that men will be begin to open up about this growing problem that is on the verge of being labeled an epidemic.
Don’s Story: A Business Man, A Husband and A Father
Don and his wife have been married for 16 years, they have four children — two boys and two girls. He has always been into music, but in the late 1990’s he really started to get serious about his music. Of course being from D.C., Don was into Go-Go music, as well as Hip-Hop and R&B.
While he was producing music, he was also working for the federal government. In 2005 Don left his job with the federal government to take care of one of his children who was fighting through severe bouts of childhood asthma. He shared, how it was a blessing to be able to leave his job and take care of his daughter. Yet at the same time, being a husband and father without a steady income was a real challenge to his sense of being the head of household. He recounted, times that his children would bypass him and go to his wife when they needed things, because he was not working. His career as music producer was still there, but as is often the case in the music industry, the money was inconsistent at times. It was a real time of adjustment for Don and the entire family.
Fatherhood Song and President Obama
Around the same time that Don became a stay at home dad, focused on taking care of his daughter, he also teamed up with Tray Chaney who played Poot Carr on HBO’s The Wire. Together they produced positive songs that as Don put it, “made fatherhood cool.” Their 2012 song Fatherhood, was recognized last year by President Obama at the annual Fatherhood and Families Conference, for it’s positive message and was featured on BET’s 106&Park. Individually, Don was also selected to represent the state of Maryland by the makers of Bounty Brand Towel’s, as they recognized him as being a great father.
Outwardly, Don’s life was reflecting all the things that every father and husband wants to portray, and every wife wants in her home. He was a sacrificial father, a dedicated husband, balancing a career in the music industry that was being recognized from the local community all the way to the White House. Yet inwardly, Don labeled himself, at that same time, as being “mentally locked up.” All the accolades, the recognition, the positive music, the great family life, none of that was registering. Despite every positive in his life, Don had a negative outlook on everything good that was happening to him. Instead, he met anything that appeared to be good, with suspicion, negativity, and doubt. He did not know it at the time, but now as he works through what he describes as a near “breakdown” in 2012, he realizes that back then he was battling depression.
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Tangerlia Cox says
I am so proud of my husband right now. It’s such a honor to be his wife.
V Wade says
I am too – Glad to know both of you. Stay prayed up -God changes things and people too 🙂
Linda Peterson says
I am so proud of Don for admitting his depression and getting the treatment alot of people don’t relize the symtpoms until its too late.
Lamar Tyler says
Thank you for sharing this story my brother. You have no idea how many others you have helped just by sharing your story in the public light. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Briana Myricks says
Thank you for sharing your story Don. I pray for you and your family, and pray that you opening up and being transparent helps another man in a similar situation.
Kellie says
I am so very proud of Don for sharing his story. As a mental health professional and college professor, I do a fair amount of teaching about the prevalence of “silent” cases of depression, anxiety disorders, and other psychiatric conditions. In the Black community, so many of us are “getting by” or focusing on what we believe are the necessities of life (e.g., food, clothing, toys for our kids, shelter, activities and vacations for our families), and we’re so unaware of the importance of our mental health. Admitting to having a mental health issue is NOT a sign of weakness, as accepting treatment is not taking a hand-out. Acknowledging and seeking help for depression (or any other mental illness or addiction) is a necessary step toward wholeness. Bravo, Don and Tangerlia, for stepping up to seek wholeness and health for your family!
Ayanna says
Thank you Don for having the courage to share your story! It’s not easy for anyone to admit that they have an issue. But I believe some family will read this and be encouraged that they can make it through depression. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Charles says
Thank you Don for sharing your story, and letting it be known that its not a sign of weakness to get help but a sign of strength. My story is similar to yours and it is only recently that I have begun to feel better after starting counseling. My wife is a big part of my recovery also. I don’t know how I would have made it without her. I hope things will continue to get better for you each and every day.
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Thanks for sharing your story Don. It gets tough as a husband, father, and everything else. Sometimes our struggles are deeper than we let on. Sharing your story is a blessing to so many men, and so many families.
Heather H says
Thank you so much for sharing your story! Very brace! Often, the Black men are pressured to be so strong and so tough, subhuman at times. They are emotional creatures and can fall prey to depression just like anyone else. The key takeaway from Don’s message–don’t be afraid to get help! Sadness is not normal. God wants us to be filled with joy! Our happiness will attract others.
I learned that even in the midst of suffering, if you rejoice, it makes you both wiser and happier:)
Choice-Driven Life says
How completely inspired I am by you all! Things will continue to get better for you. No one deserves joy more than you and your family.
MG says
thanks for sharing this story. i have been where he has been, but without the wife and family. my depression always results in women losing interest in me and leaving. but they always want to come back around when it looks like im doing better. even when i show that im fighting it and seeking help…whatever. so kudos to him for having a supportive wife and family that accepted him no matter what.
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