What Depression and Mental Illness Looks Like
What depression and mental illness looks like is the crux of the story that Don wants to share. Being depressed or experiencing a form of mental illness may not show up in overt, clearly visible ways on the outside. In fact, he now traces the roots and signs of his depression back to his childhood and acknowledges that sadness has always been there. However, it was not until late 2012 when he began demonstrating a more persistent sadness, weight loss, bouts of crying, emotional swings, and at a point suicidal thoughts, that he recognized the depth and severity of the fight he was fighting.
Now he and his family are in therapy together and he is finding balance and happiness in putting the negativity behind him and he is learning to find joy in life. What is so impressive about Don is his willingness to transparently share his story and road to recovery. So, here are a few key insights that Don wants to share with the men of BMWK and the wives that love them.
Listen. The first person to recognize the depression was Don’s wife. For several years she shared her concerns with her husband. However, it took years for him to see it for himself. He suggests to men, “if people are telling you something is wrong, and your way is not working, listen and get help.” Sometimes those that love us the most and that are the closest to us can see things that we can’t. Listen to them.
Sadness is not normal. He advises that, “Being in consistent places of sadness and negativity is not how life should be”. It took looking at old pictures for Don to realize how deep and long the grip of sadness was in his life. Take some time to look at yourself, pay attention to your expressions and appearance. If you always look mean, mad or sad maybe you are depressed.
Symptoms vary. The picture of mental health is often portrayed by someone doing strange or exhibiting odd behavior. But, mental illness and specifically depression can manifest itself in different ways and be triggered by a wide range of behaviors.
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Tangerlia Cox says
I am so proud of my husband right now. It’s such a honor to be his wife.
V Wade says
I am too – Glad to know both of you. Stay prayed up -God changes things and people too 🙂
Linda Peterson says
I am so proud of Don for admitting his depression and getting the treatment alot of people don’t relize the symtpoms until its too late.
Lamar Tyler says
Thank you for sharing this story my brother. You have no idea how many others you have helped just by sharing your story in the public light. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Briana Myricks says
Thank you for sharing your story Don. I pray for you and your family, and pray that you opening up and being transparent helps another man in a similar situation.
Kellie says
I am so very proud of Don for sharing his story. As a mental health professional and college professor, I do a fair amount of teaching about the prevalence of “silent” cases of depression, anxiety disorders, and other psychiatric conditions. In the Black community, so many of us are “getting by” or focusing on what we believe are the necessities of life (e.g., food, clothing, toys for our kids, shelter, activities and vacations for our families), and we’re so unaware of the importance of our mental health. Admitting to having a mental health issue is NOT a sign of weakness, as accepting treatment is not taking a hand-out. Acknowledging and seeking help for depression (or any other mental illness or addiction) is a necessary step toward wholeness. Bravo, Don and Tangerlia, for stepping up to seek wholeness and health for your family!
Ayanna says
Thank you Don for having the courage to share your story! It’s not easy for anyone to admit that they have an issue. But I believe some family will read this and be encouraged that they can make it through depression. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Charles says
Thank you Don for sharing your story, and letting it be known that its not a sign of weakness to get help but a sign of strength. My story is similar to yours and it is only recently that I have begun to feel better after starting counseling. My wife is a big part of my recovery also. I don’t know how I would have made it without her. I hope things will continue to get better for you each and every day.
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Thanks for sharing your story Don. It gets tough as a husband, father, and everything else. Sometimes our struggles are deeper than we let on. Sharing your story is a blessing to so many men, and so many families.
Heather H says
Thank you so much for sharing your story! Very brace! Often, the Black men are pressured to be so strong and so tough, subhuman at times. They are emotional creatures and can fall prey to depression just like anyone else. The key takeaway from Don’s message–don’t be afraid to get help! Sadness is not normal. God wants us to be filled with joy! Our happiness will attract others.
I learned that even in the midst of suffering, if you rejoice, it makes you both wiser and happier:)
Choice-Driven Life says
How completely inspired I am by you all! Things will continue to get better for you. No one deserves joy more than you and your family.
MG says
thanks for sharing this story. i have been where he has been, but without the wife and family. my depression always results in women losing interest in me and leaving. but they always want to come back around when it looks like im doing better. even when i show that im fighting it and seeking help…whatever. so kudos to him for having a supportive wife and family that accepted him no matter what.
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