Depression impacts the entire family. When a man is depressed, it affects the whole family. Through family therapy sessions, it has been made clear that his depression cast a gloomy, negative vibe on the entire family and their interactions. His perspective of every aspect of life, including his family life, was to look for and expect the worst. At his worst times, he would enter a room and his kids would go into “protective mode,” texting, finding other things to do, and avoiding contact with him. His take is that, the negativity sometimes associated with depression has its way of pushing family members away and causing them to avoid contact.
On the other side of recognizing the fight that he was in, Don also shared what he has gained by admitting the problem and seeking help. Things that he did not even realize he was missing until he began taking steps to the road to recovery.
Count Your Blessings. By exposing his depression, seeking help, and now sharing his story publicly, he has been able to come to a place of looking at life differently. Start by counting your blessings. In his case, Don had to realize, “I have four healthy kids, I have been recognized by the President, my music has been on 106&Park, and I have a beautiful wife, I am blessed.” It is a perspective that makes living life enjoyable. It is an appreciation that depression hides from a person’s view. So, outside, professional help may be needed to get to this place of appreciation.
“I missed all of this.” Depression has a way of blinding a person to what is really important in life. As Don continues to improve and see his family life stabilize he looks at his improving relationship with his wife and kids and says, “I missed all of this.” That was a thought and part of the conversation that really hit me. As we get older, we realize just how short life is, and how very precious time with our loved ones is. That only elevates the need to pay attention to ourselves and get to places where we can truly appreciate the gifts that life has given us.
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I am so proud of my husband right now. It’s such a honor to be his wife.
I am too – Glad to know both of you. Stay prayed up -God changes things and people too 🙂
I am so proud of Don for admitting his depression and getting the treatment alot of people don’t relize the symtpoms until its too late.
Thank you for sharing this story my brother. You have no idea how many others you have helped just by sharing your story in the public light. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Thank you for sharing your story Don. I pray for you and your family, and pray that you opening up and being transparent helps another man in a similar situation.
I am so very proud of Don for sharing his story. As a mental health professional and college professor, I do a fair amount of teaching about the prevalence of “silent” cases of depression, anxiety disorders, and other psychiatric conditions. In the Black community, so many of us are “getting by” or focusing on what we believe are the necessities of life (e.g., food, clothing, toys for our kids, shelter, activities and vacations for our families), and we’re so unaware of the importance of our mental health. Admitting to having a mental health issue is NOT a sign of weakness, as accepting treatment is not taking a hand-out. Acknowledging and seeking help for depression (or any other mental illness or addiction) is a necessary step toward wholeness. Bravo, Don and Tangerlia, for stepping up to seek wholeness and health for your family!
Thank you Don for having the courage to share your story! It’s not easy for anyone to admit that they have an issue. But I believe some family will read this and be encouraged that they can make it through depression. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Thank you Don for sharing your story, and letting it be known that its not a sign of weakness to get help but a sign of strength. My story is similar to yours and it is only recently that I have begun to feel better after starting counseling. My wife is a big part of my recovery also. I don’t know how I would have made it without her. I hope things will continue to get better for you each and every day.
Thanks for sharing your story Don. It gets tough as a husband, father, and everything else. Sometimes our struggles are deeper than we let on. Sharing your story is a blessing to so many men, and so many families.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! Very brace! Often, the Black men are pressured to be so strong and so tough, subhuman at times. They are emotional creatures and can fall prey to depression just like anyone else. The key takeaway from Don’s message–don’t be afraid to get help! Sadness is not normal. God wants us to be filled with joy! Our happiness will attract others.
I learned that even in the midst of suffering, if you rejoice, it makes you both wiser and happier:)
How completely inspired I am by you all! Things will continue to get better for you. No one deserves joy more than you and your family.
thanks for sharing this story. i have been where he has been, but without the wife and family. my depression always results in women losing interest in me and leaving. but they always want to come back around when it looks like im doing better. even when i show that im fighting it and seeking help…whatever. so kudos to him for having a supportive wife and family that accepted him no matter what.
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