Steps to Liberation. Faith, therapy and family support have been the turning points. Since the beginning of the year, Don has begun regularly attending church services. He and his family are now in family therapy and working through the factors that led him to where he is. But his biggest source of strength to this point has been his family. He credits the patience and love of his wife for putting up with the years of negativity. It is that patient love that enabled and encouraged him to seek help. He also cites the love of his kids for helping to re-prioritize his outlook on life. That family support has been the key in helping Don be the husband and father that he wants to be.
Get Help
We closed our conversation by Don giving one final piece of advice and encouragement to men that feel they might be depressed:
Get help. If you feel that you are not productive and you don’t want to be around people, get help. “We go to the doctor for everything else, why not mental illness?” He adds to that, that “You are accountable for your own recovery.” Don refuses to blame childhood situations and does not allow the past to be an excuse that keeps him “stuck” in what has happened. Instead, he acknowledges the facts and reality of the past while looking forward to the future with his wife and children as he continues to improve.
Now, on the other side of negativity, being mentally “locked up” and missing out on the joys of life and marriage is the real Don Cox. A man that enjoys talking to his wife 3-5 times a day, that looks forward to spending time with his kids, and is proud of his accomplishments in the music industry.
BMWK, let’s thank Don for stepping out and being so transparent about mental illness and it’s impact on so many men, their wives, and families. It would also be fitting to pray for and share words of encouragement with him and his family as they continue to move forward. Personally, what made talking with Don and writing this piece such a joy, is that I can identify with Don. I think most men can — the pressure of fatherhood, being a husband, trying to provide, etc…coupled with the realities of our past life experiences leads many African American men to bouts of depression. As Don encouraged, we don’t look for excuses, rather we look for solutions — let’s talk about it, let’s get help.
BMWK — Do you have any words of wisdom or encouragement for Don and other men who are battling depression?
Tangerlia Cox says
I am so proud of my husband right now. It’s such a honor to be his wife.
V Wade says
I am too – Glad to know both of you. Stay prayed up -God changes things and people too 🙂
Linda Peterson says
I am so proud of Don for admitting his depression and getting the treatment alot of people don’t relize the symtpoms until its too late.
Lamar Tyler says
Thank you for sharing this story my brother. You have no idea how many others you have helped just by sharing your story in the public light. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Briana Myricks says
Thank you for sharing your story Don. I pray for you and your family, and pray that you opening up and being transparent helps another man in a similar situation.
Kellie says
I am so very proud of Don for sharing his story. As a mental health professional and college professor, I do a fair amount of teaching about the prevalence of “silent” cases of depression, anxiety disorders, and other psychiatric conditions. In the Black community, so many of us are “getting by” or focusing on what we believe are the necessities of life (e.g., food, clothing, toys for our kids, shelter, activities and vacations for our families), and we’re so unaware of the importance of our mental health. Admitting to having a mental health issue is NOT a sign of weakness, as accepting treatment is not taking a hand-out. Acknowledging and seeking help for depression (or any other mental illness or addiction) is a necessary step toward wholeness. Bravo, Don and Tangerlia, for stepping up to seek wholeness and health for your family!
Ayanna says
Thank you Don for having the courage to share your story! It’s not easy for anyone to admit that they have an issue. But I believe some family will read this and be encouraged that they can make it through depression. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Charles says
Thank you Don for sharing your story, and letting it be known that its not a sign of weakness to get help but a sign of strength. My story is similar to yours and it is only recently that I have begun to feel better after starting counseling. My wife is a big part of my recovery also. I don’t know how I would have made it without her. I hope things will continue to get better for you each and every day.
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Thanks for sharing your story Don. It gets tough as a husband, father, and everything else. Sometimes our struggles are deeper than we let on. Sharing your story is a blessing to so many men, and so many families.
Heather H says
Thank you so much for sharing your story! Very brace! Often, the Black men are pressured to be so strong and so tough, subhuman at times. They are emotional creatures and can fall prey to depression just like anyone else. The key takeaway from Don’s message–don’t be afraid to get help! Sadness is not normal. God wants us to be filled with joy! Our happiness will attract others.
I learned that even in the midst of suffering, if you rejoice, it makes you both wiser and happier:)
Choice-Driven Life says
How completely inspired I am by you all! Things will continue to get better for you. No one deserves joy more than you and your family.
MG says
thanks for sharing this story. i have been where he has been, but without the wife and family. my depression always results in women losing interest in me and leaving. but they always want to come back around when it looks like im doing better. even when i show that im fighting it and seeking help…whatever. so kudos to him for having a supportive wife and family that accepted him no matter what.
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