by Koereyelle DuBose
Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you’re desperate or willing to settle. Once you’re at a certain age (I’d say 25+) there are certain expectations set for you. You’re out of college, into your career and single as hell. Meanwhile, every time you log on to Facebook someone is getting married. After so many engagement stories and wedding photos, it’s normal to become impatient and start looking for Mr. Right in all the WRONG places. That old “always the bridesmaid, never the bride” cliché starts replaying over and over in your head.
Then one day, while you’re minding your business some fool asks the most annoying question: WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?
If anyone understands the ‘single struggle’ it’s ME! I’ve gotten a ring before and that was the easy part..being willing to wait for the right person is the challenge. So, what about when you’re not willing to settle for just anyone? What about when you want to hold out for the real thing…the guy who gives you butterflies when his name pops up on your phone (Remember butterflies? Haven’t had those in foreverrrrrrr!) These days, and especially in Atlanta- women are growing desperate out of fear of being bored and lonely. It’s crazy to me that some women would rather spend a night out with ANYONE than to be alone. My epiphany came from a conversation with my sister when she said “If I was going to settle, I would have done it years ago..the years for settling have passed.” So, out of my disgust for desperation, I coined the term ‘settling season.’
Settling season is the five-eight years immediately following college. It’s when we start religiously receiving save-the-dates, attending weddings and planning baby showers. It’s when we start ditching holiday parties at work because we’re the only one without a spouse. It’s when we start to wonder what’s wrong with us and why we don’t have anyone. It’s when we start making excuses to take back exes and entertaining losers we know aren’t worthy of us.
I Challenge You to Survive Settling Season
Don’t date out of desperation. If you have NO real interest in someone, please don’t go along for a free meal. There isn’t a restaurant in the world worth wasting your time. If you really just want a nice night out, treat yourself! Plus, it’s just plain rude to waste someone’s time if there is really no interest. That’s called playing games and AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!
I know it’s easier said than done, so I came up with a few tips to help you get through settling season with your emotions intact…..
tina says
These are great tips after marriage too.
Uniqueka Jenkins says
I almost got married twice! Girl I feel ya! WE WILL suRvive! 😉
Renee says
I decided a long time ago that I would not settle and this article just reinforces that. Thanks for a different perspective on settling season, considering that the holiday season is around the corner!
Shaunta says
Love, love this article. I also checked out the Single Wives Club. I think that is an awesome idea. I’m in DC but I plan to join as an online member. Thanks for sharing this important info!
Charity says
Yeeessss!!!! This just gave me so much clarity and confidence to actually make it past this “Settling Season.”
Alicia says
I love the tips section, especially the “Become who you want to be with” tip. I think it is SO important to be a model of the person you want to be with. It is not fair to ask something of a mate that you can not provide yourself. Don’t settle for less, whether for your mate or yourself! Great article!