You may have watched the hidden camera TV show, Cheaters. I’ve been unfortunate enough to allow it to steal some of my time. To me it is a mix of a bad detective show, Jerry Springer, and a bad comedy. But it touches on something that affects many marriages. It dives into what happens when you find out your husband or wife is a…Cheater!
Infidelity in marriage is no laughing matter, and there are some serious emotions and consequences that come as a result. The Marriage Pressure Points Ministry is doing a phenomenal job of creating short films around some of the toughest marriage issues a couple can face. Their short film, Cheater!, jumps right into the life and emotions of a couple dealing with infidelity in their marriage.
As you watch this short film, you will feel the emotion. If you have dealt with infidelity in your relationship, you will probably relate to it all. If you have not dealt with infidelity, you may find yourself asking the questions, “what would happen if my spouse was a cheater?” “Would I fight?” “Who/what would I be fighting for?”
BMWK – Please watch the film, Cheaters!, below. Let us know how infidelity can be prevented in your marriage. How do you intend to protect and fight for your marriage?
Click here to see more Marriage Pressure Points films.
Marriage Pressure Points, is a ministry that has a heart for broken marriages, and is giving hope to restore these marriages.The ministry is made possible by the support of those who have a similar heart and hope for the restoration of these marriages. You can help by visiting their website and making a donation of any amount. Please follow Marriage Pressure Points on Facebook.
Mrs. Jones says
This video goes to show you some people are not meant to be married. Anyone with common sense knows not to cheat when you’re married. When you’re having trouble in your marriage seek God and praise your way through it and not between another woman’s legs, but as that ole sayings go “trash will always be trash”!
Mrs. G says
Yeah, this video scratches the surface of how infidelity can affect a marriage. It’s cool that this ministry addresses the super tough issues. I’m currently dealing with this issue & unfortunately I’m losing hope because my spouse (the cheater) doesn’t grasp the varying emotions that I feel from day-to-day that stem from his choice. So, when I’m upset or feeling hurt or just having a bad day emotionally he withdraws. He isn’t seeking help to try understand or to support me so… I just keep praying for strength & am seeking counseling for myself. Keep up the good work BMWK & MPPM!
Phil Stevens says
Thanks Mrs. G. We are trying to tackle the tough/real issues. It’s not easy, but it’s helping tons of people. It saddens me that you can relate to this film, but I am glad to hear you are getting help. I’m sorry you are going through this pain, find comfort in His arms sister. I bless you.
I just wanted to say that cheating doesn’t happen over night. It is a difficult process for anyone to go through, but I do have to point out that he just didn’t wake up one day and decide to cheat. There were other contributing factors that played a role that lead to the unfortunate act of infidelity. Both husband and wife have a part to play and for anyone to say that he just decided to it by himself would be unfair. There was either a need that wasn’t being fulfilled or he was just greedy. I hope the two of you worked or are in the process of working out the problems in your marriage.
Mrs. F says
Why do people justify cheating by blaming the other spouse for the lack of something. He or she made a CHOICE to CHEAT instead of talking out the issue with his or her spouse!
I know a couple who were having marital difficulties for years n the spouse kept begging to talk n work out things but the other spouse wouldn’t. There were issues on both sides the neither one was willing to step out of their comfort zone n address. One of the spouses then cheated. They are still together trying to work it out.
I have also had this problem n although its sometimes so painfully difficult to deal, we are dealing. I know we need more counseling because some of the same issues re still present after almost two years of trying to move pass the adultery. I simply refuse to give up hope on my marriage.
Mrs. F says
I agree Mrs. G I am dealing with the same thing and because this isn’t his first offense I am considering calling it quits. I need to go to counseling myself.
Sadly I relate to this on both sides & unfortunately the choice isn’t always as easy as just bounce. I am a Christian woman, Mother, and wife & things are not always cut & dry. I know that God does not approve of infidelity, but it’s tough when He also says you are to forgive. All I have ever done, and will continue to do, is pray for God’s guidance in the way that we are to proceed w/our marriage. I continue to get counseling for myself for other reasons besides infidelity. I just ask God to keep me & guide me always.
If my husband cheated it would be over. I could forgive, but would not be able to forget. Cheating shows a complete lack of respect for your spouse and emotionally immaturity on your part. I guess the good news is these things just don’t “happen” unless you’re some type of sex addict who is buying favors. You create emotional bonds that build over time into an attraction that both parties decide to act upon. Be careful of your opposite sex friends and coworkers, maintain boundaries and keep all marital issues between you and a trusted counselor/minister.
I have heard other women say the same thing with the same matter of tone that you are speaking of, but when it happened, they had a different perspective of the situation and some did leave and others stayed to try to work things out. I really hope that you don’t experience the hurt, but you can’t say for sure that you will dissolve the marriage because unless you are going through it, you really can’t say what you will do. We can all imagine that we would be strong and be quick to end the marriage, but then after the emotions settle down we sit back and think about everything and if divorce would be the best option.
So true Diddy. People quickly say what they wold do until they ind themselves in the predicament. Experience really is a good teacher.. With knowledge, get understanding..
@John, did you really have the audacity to say the crying got tiring? You are so inconsiderate and a man with your attitude doesn’t even deserve to have a good woman. But trust me, what goes around comes around. Just pray that it never happens to you when you really fall in love with another woman and she does the same thing to you. Then and only then, will you understand the hurt and pain that cheating cause.
Mrs. F says
Well Said JT!
Excellent blog/website, and great video. I’ve been through it, and am working with my spouse on improving our relationship, and it is improving, every day. What happened was as much my fault as it was his. If I hadn’t kept him at a distance, he probably wouldn’t have strayed.
Now that we’ve talked, cried, prayed, and communicated more with each other, we’re on a better road. However, he hasn’t been intimate with me in a long while. Oh, he’s affectionate and loving, but we haven’t gone to that next level in months. It makes me worried and fearful.
Although I’m not getting that “sixth sense” that he’s cheating, like I did before, I can’t help but wonder why is he withholding himself from me? The cheating incident happened years ago. Again, we’ve talked to each other, and I’ve explained my feelings to him on many occasions. I’ve asked for his input as well, and encourage it, so I’ll know where his head is at, too.
It’s economically and financially difficult to pursue discussing this with a therapist, but I’m going out of my mind in frustration. I’ve done everything else I’ve described earlier. Some advice would be most grateful. Thanks for reading.
I’m confused about the lack of intimacy, you said it’s been years since he cheated. Yet he hasn’t touched you in months. You claimed you are not ready because you are still fearful but you go on to say you can’t understand why he won’t touch you. If he’s not having sex with you there is something wrong. He is either sleeping with someone else or is no longer sexually attrated to you. It’s never your fault for another persons behavior.
Mrs. Jones says
Are you really blaming yourself for your husband lack of commitment to you. Let me school you a little on people who cheat in marriages – it’s usually some type of inner conflict within themselves that they haven’t dealt with and they have no common sense to get help for this problem – and lot of them are mentally unstable/selfish – and this goes especially with “men” – they cheat because women like you will put up with it and blame yourself like you’re doing in this post. But please for the sake of society please don’t have any children “especially a little black girl”. By the overall tone of your post you seem to be a very weak women who is taking blame for your husband stupidity and “our” little black girls in this society need very strong minded mothers.
WOW! I couldn’t have responded better. It’s a shame today to see a woman take the blame of a man’s dysfunctional behavior. If he cheats on you once there is a high chance of him doing it again unless he decides to make a change within himself and fight the demons within that’s causing him to be so weak at the flesh. We as woman cannot change any man. Let go and Let God work on Him. In the meantime you work on your self esteem. It will make your relationship a much better situation in the long run if you decide to stay. Every man loves a confident woman who is sure of herself and what she wants. Do not be the enabler he does not need. May God bless you both and help to make the necessary changes you all need. Personally I would be out!
@Mrs. Jones: Thank you for your input. Just as it takes two to create a relationship, it takes two to mess it up. Granted, he did what he did, but it wasn’t completely one-sided. I’m not saying it was completely my fault, but I did contribute to the situation. Fortunately, that painful part of our lives is over, and we’ve gotten past it.
My concern at this point is the lack of sexual intimacy. There are other issues that affect it (like various medications he’s taking, work schedule, etc.), but it shouldn’t affect him for months/years on end. My husband and I have discussed these topics, and will hopefully work on a solution.
I don’t consider myself weak at all. As a matter of fact, women who are willing to stick it out after a spouse has cheated are much stronger than you and the general public believe. I do know I need some type of resolution to this sexual drought I’m experiencing; else, he may not be the only “cheating spouse” in this relationship.
But before it gets to that point, I would probably just leave him for good. In every other aspect, he is a good man, which is why I want to salvage what we have. It is also why I’m looking for constructive criticism, and not digs at my personality. Thank you.
Mrs. Jones says
It’s your choice to stay in your marriage. But maybe instead of your cheating husband getting mental therapy as I suggested today, you may need to go with him for a dual session. Let me past on some very significant words to you – When you’re going through problems in your marriage, you go down on your knees and pray and praise God for understanding and healing with whatever issue you and your spouse has- and not cheat on your spouse because that just childish and stupid and it shows that you as an adult don’t have the basic human skills to make a adult decisions in life. Anyone with common sense or common decently about themselves would never step out on their spouse!
You guys both need therapy. I do know certain ailments can contribute to a low sex drive but this needs to be addressed so you wold know n he in order to find solutions. I agree with you that you are not only tremendously strong but mature in realizing your part in creating the troubles of your marriage. Yes, he is totally responsible for actually committing adultery but to be mature enough to hold yourself accountable for the role you played deserves a commendation. People do not unusually see their wrong.
I do beg you to seek medical help as well as counseling via church, health insurance or such to work out the intimacy issue.
Hello, people that cheat are hurting people. It’s not to excuse their actions, but they are not WHOLE people. Most cheaters have unresolved issues such as low self worth, low self esteem, emotional issue and commitment issues and are not happy with themselves. Contrary to a popular cliche’ cheating doesn’t have anything to do with the other person, “not doing their job.”
MrsG aka MrsGreene says
last post by MrsGreene… 🙂 I didn’t realize it was another MrsG 😉