Read 10 Things Grown Women Shouldn’t Do – Part One here.
#6 Stop getting overly frustrated when you are faced with things you can control and the things you can’t.
When I have a problem to solve, I feel anxious, even when the solution is fairly straightforward. And this must stop. And when I don’t have the solution or I’m not the one who can solve the problem? I need to be stressed about it even less. Think about it. Stress is your body’s response to things outside your control. If you can fix it, fix it. But if you have no control in the situation (which can be horrible for a control freak like me), then your job is to sit back and wait for clarity.
#7 Stop holding grudges from more than three months ago.
Early in my marriage, I would hold grudges forever. For years, even. Heck, just last week I caught myself getting angry at my husband for not getting up at night when the kids were newborns and our youngest is now three. Yes, I realize how crazy that makes me sound. And I realized that my husband instinctively figured I was mad at him about something when he came home every day. It didn’t make sense for him to keep having to bear the brunt of my frustrations when he figured we had moved on. And by holding on to past arguments and past hurts, it made it harder for me to enjoy my marriage. So now I’m done with all that and my love life has never been better.
#8 Stop taking your health for granted.
Last year I pushed myself beyond the scope of what I could physically accomplish. I was editing books and writing posts and going to school and handling too many clients. But I figured, I’m young, I have to hustle hard to make sure this business gets off the ground. But then I started having this burning sensation in my chest every time a deadline approached. My skin no longer glowed but looked pale and splotchy. My hair was breaking off. Stress was manifesting itself everywhere. So I had to take a step back and prioritize my health instead of my wealth. Now my workload is much more manageable and my body is thanking me for it.
#9 Stop being afraid to be you.
My insecurities are legendary. I just started singing along to the radio in front of my husband a couple months ago, because for a long time I was afraid he would judge me ’cause I can’t sing like Adele. And what kind of sense does that make? None. I used to, um, engage in intimate activities with my clothes on, because my squishy belly embarrassed me. But it shouldn’t. And it doesn’t, not anymore. I am who I am, off-key singing and belly pooch and all.
#10 Stop being scared.
This is your life. You get one shot at it. You don’t want to spend it on the sidelines, wishing “What If.” Go for what you dream about. Take a step that scares you. Get a little uncomfortable from time to time.
Do any of these resonate with you? What would you add to the list?
Yes grudges are so unhealthy. Once I let go of that hurt, pain, and anger I felt a release from my body of negativity that did not belong. This was a good list.
Stop using the words “should” and “trying to”. Make a decision!!! Either you “are” or you “are not”. Those words rob you of the energy and resilience to “do” whatever “it” is, and give you an easy scapegoat if/when you want to give up. Indecision is not only unattractive, it’s EXHAUSTING!!!
These are some very good things to change as you get older. I am having this same conversatiom with myself and I will be 30 in 7 months. I am adding to the list…POSITION YOURSELF FOR GREATNESS. I have to stop going along with the flow and ‘letting’ things happen and start ‘making’ things happen!
I so totally agree with you! I have been “going with the flow for a long time” and in the end, I had never felt fulfilled!! I decided that I will take control, I will make things happen, and in the end, I will be happy with the results!! Very good one to add to the list! Thank you!!
Nwayman1
Wow…. I can relate to soo many of these things!! Although everyone around me says that I am a beautiful woman, with many talents, etc., I am not a believer! Even worse, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7.5 yrs and am afraid to initiate sex because I fear that I will do something wrong and turn him off! When we have discussions about it, he always suggest that I just try! Knowing myself and how I try to protect my own feelings, I know that if I screw up, I will never try to do it again, so I just haven’t been able to throw myself out there!
One of my worst attributes is that I think about the negative before I can consider the positive! It’s a struggle for me to simply think positive. It’s as if my brain only knows negative! I could blame this on a lot of things, but I am tired of making excuses and am in the process of trying to figure out how to overcome this madness!! I have a lot to be thankful for…. 3 beautiful children, a man that I know loves me, a beautiful home, reliable transportation, goals and aspirations to accomplish more, and most importantly, a God that has never failed me!!
In trying to better myself, I know that I will have to make changes to my ways of thinking! From now, on…. I am a beautiful, intelligent, God fearing woman, and wonderful mother and partner!! This site and all of these articles have been soo inspirational to me! I actually took the E-book to my boyfriend so that we could discuss it since he and I had just had a heart-to-heart about what we need from each other to feel appreciated!! This article, again, hit the nail right on the nose (hope I said that correctly…lol)!! I appreciate the honesty that is expressed in this article as it makes it so much easier for one to be honest with themselves about areas that we can improve in! So happy to be a new subscriber 🙂
Nicole W
I believe that if your perception of the world at 40 is same as it was when you were 20, you have wasted 20 years of life. Our ideas and thoughts keep changing with time and age. This is because our challenges keep changing. You should take life one day at a time and remember what happened earlier so that you don’t make the same mistakes.
Great list. I turned 50 this year and still have to remind myself of some of these. I would add to the list – real women ask for and work for what they want. They don’t wait for someone to figure it out and don’t expect things to just be handed to them.