If you were on a first date and the successful, swagalicious man you met on Soul Swipe said, "Am I ever gonna get remarried? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. Marriage is an institution of sorts and I've done it. It's not for everybody. It's not my life's calling," what would you do? Tell the truth and shame the devil, ladies. Would you run for the hills so he … [Read more...]
Should You Swipe Left or Swipe Right? Getting Clear on Your Deal Breakers
If you're using dating apps to meet with eligible singles, you've probably lived these scenarios. Does this sound familiar? Swipe right if… He looks good on paper but he’s not mentally stimulating in real life. FRUSTRATING! Swipe left. Swipe right. He was a great conversationalist on the phone but didn't make you laugh when you went out to dinner on your first date. … [Read more...]
Truth Bomb: The “Spirit of Girlfriend” Isn’t The Reason Why You’re Still Single
R&B superstar Ciara ignited a Twitter firestorm when she retweeted a meme featuring a clip of Pastor John Gray's 2016 message to single women about why marriage is elusive for them. In this message, he insinuated that if a man hasn't put a ring on it yet, it's because you're walking in the "spirit of girlfriend," instead of acting like a wife. He said: “Here's what the … [Read more...]
3 Easy Solutions to Cure Your Loneliness When You’re Single
"I fought so hard to get this house," she told me. "But when I come home after a long day of work and I look at the hinges hanging off the doors, I think to myself, 'do I really have to do this thing called life on my own?!'" The words from this powerful, strong, successful sista were familiar to me. As a dating coach who works intimately with single Black women, I’ve borne … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Manifest Love in 2018 That Don’t Involve a Vision Board
If you are single, successful and beyond ready to manifest the love you desire into your life in 2018, then there is one popular New Year's Resolution practice you must abandon immediately: creating a vision board. I know it sounds crazy coming from me, especially since I've shared that a vision board helped me meet and marry my husband in 11 short months. Vision boards can … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why the Holidays are the Best Time to Find Love
When you're single for the holidays, it seems like there's a never ending string of reminders that your relationship status is stuck at "it's complicated," despite everything you've tried. December brings Christmas and New Year's Eve, and with it, parties that require a "plus one." You also get bombarded with a flood of engagement announcements on your social media timeline … [Read more...]
“It’s Complicated”: 3 Social Media Mistakes That Can Negatively Impact Your Relationship Status
When you want to change your relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship," social media can make your dating life complicated unnecessarily. You follow him on Facebook to find out if he's employed instead of just asking him questions directly; he cyberstalks you right after you connect on Match.com, liking photos and leaving comments on statuses, and you haven't … [Read more...]
Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely: Your Single for the Holidays Survival Guide
Just because you're alone for the holidays, doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Loneliness is a choice. I discovered this truth when I was nursing my wounds from a sudden breakup with my boyfriend right before Christmas. Although I've been happily married now for 11 years, I still remember the pain of discovering the guy I was dating had gone out with another girl, even though … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Make Dating Fun Again That Actually Work
Do you dread dating because you're bored with the kinds of men you meet? Or are you suffering from burn-out and the thought of getting dressed up just to be disappointed makes you feel like you're wasting time when you could be getting work done? You might even feel bitter about the dating scene because it feels like men don't want to court you--they're rushing to sleep with … [Read more...]
19 Things Confident Women Just Don’t Do In Relationships
Men love confident women and when they are looking for the lady of their dreams, it's one of the top qualities they desire. I feel you rolling your eyes, girl, because you may be thinking to yourself: Yeah right! These brothers out here are intimidated by women who are smart, successful and secure (and you've probably even had a guy act funny around you because of what you do … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why Convincing Yourself You Don’t Need a Commitment Is Dangerous
Do you feel like asking the man you're dating when he's going to commit to you is pressuring him to do something he doesn't want to do? Do you "go along to get along" when he says he enjoys your company but isn't in a rush to label things, even though you secretly fear he's wasting your time and won't ever commit? If you said yes to either of these questions, and you've been … [Read more...]
2 Lessons About Sex You Probably Missed From Insecure Season 2
We just witnessed another heart wrenching season finale of Insecure on HBO. Season 2 was all about the messy middle of these characters’ transition from the relationships they once knew into an uncertain future, and it made for really good TV that was often uncomfortable to watch. The struggle is real for Issa, Molly, Lawrence and, it seems, for the millions of singles who … [Read more...]
Just Not Attracted to Him? 3 Ways to Let Him Down Easy After a First Date
"I think he's cool...I'm just not attracted to him." I hear this phrase a lot from my date coaching clients who come to me for help when getting back out there after not dating for 2 or more years. I encourage them to date outside their type in order to break their cycle of choosing men who look good on the outside, but are toxic on the inside. As a result, they take a … [Read more...]
It Takes a Squad: 3 Types of Friends Every Woman Needs to Hold Her Down When She’s Dating
Have you seen the movie, Girls' Trip? Theaters around the country were smelling like cocoa butter and coconut oil because the "Sistas" showed up and showed out, making this film a box office success! Maybe we were so excited to finally have a celebration of #BlackGirlMagic and our friendships on the big screen (We haven't seen four fabulous friends being featured since the hit … [Read more...]
Ladies: 3 Signs You May Have Already Met Your Perfect Match and You Don’t Even Know It
Where are all the good men? If you're a smart, successful, marriage-minded sista, and you've found yourself asking that question out of frustration, I have some good news. According to some experts, once a woman turns 30, there's a 70% chance she's already met the love of her life. Your future husband could be a former classmate, co-worker, or someone you bumped into on your … [Read more...]