by Delano Squires I got an email in April from a friend about an advanced screening of Jumping the Broom in Washington, D.C. that featured a Q&A session with mega-pastor, and co-producer, T.D. Jakes. I had class and wasn't able to attend so I took my mother and aunt to see the film over Mother's Day weekend instead. A few years ago I probably wouldn't have even paid … [Read more...]
Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?
by Delano Squires One of my favorite movies about dating and relationships is Spike Lee's film She's Gotta Have It. It was released in 1986 but still offers useful commentary on a number of issues, including sexuality, honesty, monogamy, and our perceptions of acceptable gender roles. The movie follows the love life of the protagonist, Nola Darling, as she manages the … [Read more...]
How Do You Measure Success in Your Relationship?
by Delano Squires I recently heard a sermon at church that examined how people measure success in their personal lives. The first part of the message focused on some of the things our culture associates with success: material possessions, social status, power, fame, etc. These common markers of achievement were in stark contrast to the main point of the message: true success … [Read more...]
How Do You Evaluate Relationship Advice?
by Delano Squires A few people have asked me a question in recent months that I believe is worth addressing here today. Although articulated in different ways each time, it's the same question that I've heard countless women ask about Steve Harvey, given his new role as relationship guru: "Why should anyone listen to anything you have to say about love, dating, … [Read more...]
Is Your Dating Persona a Politician or a Flasher?
by Delano Squires Needless to say, President Obama has had a rough fall. In November, the Democrats suffered what he described as a "shellacking" in the midterm elections and last week he received stinging criticism from members of his own party over his willingness to compromise on one of his most significant campaign platforms: eliminating President Bush's tax cuts for the … [Read more...]
5 Signs that You Are Sabotaging Your Own Relationship…and You Don’t Even Know It
What comes to mind when you hear the word "intimacy"? Do you think of marriage, sex, friendship, affection, familiarity, or something else altogether? Regardless of what words you associate with intimacy, close relationships require it to truly be authentic. Unfortunately, we often block intimacy with our own actions, words, and thoughts. It is easy to see how verbal or … [Read more...]
The End of Men or a New Beginning?
by Delano Squires A few people have asked me why a childless, single man writes for a blog called Black and Married with Kids. My response is that I write for this blog because there is a need for male voices to be heard in conversations related to love, intimacy, relationships, and family. Last week Aja Dorsey Jackson penned a thought-provoking post that addressed this very … [Read more...]
Confronting the Crisis of Father Absence
by Delano Squires September is one of the best months for sports fans. It represents the home stretch in professional baseball, as well as the beginning of a new season in professional football. One NFL pro who received some unwanted attention this summer is New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie. He was pilloried in the national media after he was seemingly unable to … [Read more...]
Is God Keeping You Single or Keeping You Together?
by Delano Squires Two articles last week discussed the role of religion in relationships and marriage, and I was intrigued by both because of their implications for people of faith and people in love. While not specifically referring to Christianity, given the religious demographics of the African American community, the general arc of both pieces, and my personal … [Read more...]
Who Sets the Tone for Your Relationship?
by Delano Squires Anyone who has ever taken salsa lessons should know that men are traditionally responsible for taking the lead on the dance floor. This is true regardless of whether the man happens to be a better or more experienced dancer than his female dance partner. This concept reminds me of a conversation I had recently at a friend's birthday barbecue in which I … [Read more...]