The need to feel valued, special, and important is essential to any relationship. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t value them? Yet, many men and women suffer quietly with feelings of neglect, disrespect, and devaluation. Sometimes not intentionally. Lynae did her best to be a good mother and wife. Her Southern roots found pride in cooking, cleaning, and caring for … [Read more...]
4 Ways to Deal with an Insecure Mate without Leaving the Relationship
“And who’s that?!?!” “That’s my co-worker.” “Why they have your cell number and texting you this late?” “Chris, stop trippin’! You always do that! I don’t question you…or ask who’s texting you!” Insecure people argue about everything...and nothing. They’re constantly trying to catch you slipping. Checking your phone…your emails. Rummaging through your things trying to … [Read more...]
Should Wives Submit to Husbands or Should Spouses Submit to Each Other? Here’s the Answer
I was watching Preachers of Detroit, a show about six preachers in Detroit and their families. On episode 3, the wives and daughters of the pastors, Bishop Corletta Vaughn, and famous gospel singer/evangelist Dorinda Clark Cole were eating lunch at a restaurant. A ladies pow-wow of sorts. The subject came up of women in ministry. Bishop Vaughn and Dorinda were exchanging … [Read more...]
Create a Video Diary for Your Spouse with 12 Questions to Express Your Feelings
“I wish I could talk good.” she said…squinting her eyes and angrily shaking her head in frustration. That’s what my aunt told her husband one evening. They were arguing. He made her mad. But she couldn’t find the right words to fully express how angry she was. Some people can’t talk good. They get in arguments. But what they feel doesn’t always come out…or come out the … [Read more...]
Do You Know the Purpose for Which You Got Married? Here is Why You Should
There’s nothing more beautiful than seeing a couple discover the purpose of their marriage. It’s like they were meant to be together…to fulfill a purpose greater than themselves. Just look at the lives of our beloved trailblazers Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, the creators of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. It’s clear they’re on some type of Apostle Paul-like missionary assignment to … [Read more...]
5 Distinctions from Just Being Her Man to Being Her Leader
What woman doesn’t want a man who knows how to be a leader in their relationship — one who can handle it and lock it down…come what may. Admittedly, even mentioning the term “leader” or “leadership” in the context of a relationship evokes an array of feelings depending on the woman you poll. For women who never experienced a man being a leader in her upbringing, the notion … [Read more...]
Stop Apologizing for Being Who You Are
What I won’t do…is apologize for being me. I definitely won’t apologize for feeling the way I do. And I most certainly won’t apologize for doing what God put me on earth to do. I guess I’ve been emboldened by U.S. House Representative Alcee Hastings. In a committee hearing, the Democrat from Florida said Texas was a “crazy state”. When a Republican Texas Rep. asked for an … [Read more...]
FELLAS, Stop Waiting so Long to Get Married!
Dear Fellas, On no day will I understand why black men wait so long to get married. The US Census Bureau shows, on average, every other race, both men and women, get married between 26 and 29. But you wait till you’re nearly 31. And for-real tho, who they countin’? Most of the single black men I know aren’t close to walking down nobody’s aisle. Two of my close friends, … [Read more...]
6 Ways He Can Lead at Home When She’s the Boss at Work
It’s the year of the woman in the city where I work. With the inauguration of the 2015 elected officials, for the first time ever in Washington, DC. women are holding down the top spots in a major city. Muriel Bowser was inaugurated as Mayor, Cathy Lanier is the Chief of Police, and Kaya Henderson is the city’s school Chancellor. And they are all single. As a Christian man, … [Read more...]
5 Days of Hashtags Busy Professionals Can Use to Connect with Their Family
Mr. and Ms. working professionals, what is the most important thing in your life next to your faith? Most of you would proudly say your children, spouse, or family. And you have a full house of family, food, and joy during the holiday season to prove it. But as you know, the high costs associated with your family being the most important thing in your life sometimes competes … [Read more...]
Why Men Look at Other Women and How to Address It
A single woman in her late 40s/early 50s was on a date with her gentleman-friend at a semi-formal event. They were holding hands. But his neck was on swivel...looking at a bunch of other women. She noticed it but didn’t say anything at the moment. She waited until they got outside. Then she told him in a polite yet determinant way that ‘I don’t play that. That’s … [Read more...]
4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Have “Friends” of the Opposite Sex From a Male Perspective
A while back, Mary J. Blige's comment about not allowing each other to have friends of the opposite sex sparked a lot of water cooler discussion at work. To give proper context to her comment, the interviewer asked her what the benefits of marrying one’s manager are. MJB’s response was, “…If one of you don’t want to talk about something right now, you have to respect that. And … [Read more...]
The Two Lies Fathers Must Stop Telling Themselves
I was utterly blown away at the responses from the 300+ middle school and high school students. I volunteer as a group-leader at a suburban church youth ministry. The speaker asked, “How many you have ever thought about ending it all and committing suicide?” About 100 students’ hands went up. “How many of you cut yourselves?” A third of the hands went up again. The males and … [Read more...]
How to Deal with People Who Hurt You
Ohhhh…Lawd!!! It’s about to get real! Show of hands if you’ve ever been hurt in a relationship? Are you still hurting; or have you gotten over it? Getting hurt in a relationship is not just a female experience. I’m pretty confident every man had that one female that hurt him so bad…other women ended up paying for her transgressions. If not, then I apologize. Let me not … [Read more...]
Your Wife’s a Helpmate, but Here’s 15 Ways You Can Help Her
I asked, “If she’s the help-mate, then isn’t she supposed to follow my lead?” My Pastor responded, “As the leader, you’re supposed to take the lead in showing her how to be a servant by serving her.” Stunned! Mouth open! I never looked at being the head of the house that way. See, 17 years ago, we were three months from our wedding. And we were having some conflict about … [Read more...]