I recently came to a revelation in my own life: I've been crossing the threshold of my home expecting to get into it with my wife. And although I have no tool of measurement to gauge how often this was occurring, I can say it was happening a lot. I was fearing aka expecting aka having faith in a negative outcome. I realized that this kind of behavior is what happens when you … [Read more...]
Do You Have an In Case of Emergency Contact List for Marriage Support?
Conflict arises in marriage. And when that happens, it's natural to need an ear or a shoulder sometimes. We need our moments to vent and to get some helpful feedback. But we need to be careful that those we're allowing into our marriage aren't doing more harm than good with their advice, or lack thereof. Be sure that you're talking about your marriage with the right people by … [Read more...]
5 Things that Will Ruin Your Ability to Communicate with Your Spouse
When I started dating my husband years ago, I remember getting so mad when he didn’t feel like discussing an issue that came up. I would keep asking questions and pushing the issue until he said something. The thing is, that rarely got me anywhere. He would get annoyed and shut down even more, and I would get angrier and ask more questions—until I realized I was talking to … [Read more...]
5 Scriptures to Help You Avoid Going Off on Your Spouse
Yes, yes, yes! How many times do you feel like going off on your spouse? Do you ever find yourself asking Jesus for help restraining your tongue after your spouse does something to make your blood rise? In these situations, are you tempted to say some things—things that are not always nice? When you get to that moment, and you will have those moments, remember … [Read more...]
Gearing Up For Another Fight? Consider These 3 Things First!
Having disagreements when you're married is not only understandable, it’s expected. Even the happiest couples don’t always see eye-to-eye. Expecting that you can spend a lifetime with someone without getting into it is not very realistic. No matter how perfect a couple may seem, if they keep it real, they have their moments. However, I think there is a distinct difference … [Read more...]
5 Things that Make It Impossible to Stay Mad at Your Spouse
I'm always amazed at how much I learn about marriage in just every day living. In this article about learning how to grow up in your marriage, I talk about the need to learn how to let go of, or do certain things. One of the things I had to start getting better with was the art of compromising. Even after eight years of marriage, I have to constantly ask myself if I'm being … [Read more...]
What Did You Say about My Mama: 8 Tips on How to Fight Fairly
It seems that no matter how long you have been married, talking about each other's family is still a tricky situation that should be handled delicately. And, should never be done while you are arguing. Rabbi Shmuley, a relationship expert that was often seen on the Oprah Show, says one way to fight fairly is to never bring your spouses family into an argument. "Marriage is … [Read more...]
Have You Been Water or Gasoline in Your Marriage Conflicts?
Water vs. Gasoline is a term frequently used in my work. When asked what happens when you put gasoline on a fire, eyes usually get wide and the response is kind of like duh, the fire greatly increases. The follow up question to that one is what happens when you put water on a fire, and again the response comes with a common sense glare as everyone usually says in unison, "the … [Read more...]
Here Are 5 Reasons Why I’ve Given Up In My Marriage
Do you know a married couple that never fights? Me neither. Two people. One life. Happily ever after - with a few inevitable rough spots and bumps along the journey. Sometimes those bumps in the road become hills and the hills become mountains and then what? Is giving up an option? Do we quickly begin to throw around the "D" word? Hopefully not, because that's always … [Read more...]
5 Character Defects That Ruin Marriage
When we consider marriage, we hear time and time again about the ingredients that make a marriage work. Love, honesty, trust and communication are a few of those that normally soar to the top of the list. We are also familiar with the actions that lead to the destruction of a marriage. Infidelity, abuse and neglect all go to the top of that list. However, do we ever consider … [Read more...]
Do You Have A Marriage Emergency Contact List?
Conflict arises in marriage. It's natural to need an ear or a shoulder sometimes, but when we need our moments to vent or to get some helpful feedback, we need to be careful that those we're allowing into our marriage aren't doing more harm than good with their advice, or lack thereof. Be sure that you're talking about your marriage with the right people by making a list of … [Read more...]
Wives, Stop Belittling Your Husbands!
I've been noticing a terrible trend lately. While mostly on television, there seems to be an increase in the amount of wives who are openly, publicly, and unapologetically belittling their husbands. On Braxton Family Values, a reality show that follows Toni Braxton, her sisters and her mother, two of Toni's sisters have been talking down on their husbands on a … [Read more...]
Occupy Your Marriage
Are you active in your marriage, or is it just a relationship status? Are you engaged with your spouse, or did that all go out the window with "I do"? Are you listening to your wife or do you just hear her? Are you talking to your husband or talking at him? Wake up, ladies and gentlemen. It's time to occupy your marriage. Regardless of what you may think of the Occupy protests … [Read more...]
What Keeps You Married?
When I was an early twenty something my views on marriage were slightly skewed. My mom and I would often have relationship centered conversations. She always seemed amused about my views and outlook on marriage. She would often smirk because she recognized how much I had to learn whenever I did find myself involved in a serious relationship. In those talks I would often brag on … [Read more...]
Stop Being Married Children!
1 Corinthians 13:11 English Standard Version When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. As true as this scripture should be, nothing can expose the immaturity behind a grown woman or man quite like marriage. We may be able to go to work and handle conflict with sage wisdom and … [Read more...]