A topic that has come up often recently in my conversations around relationships is about how to effectively become better in our relationships. It’s easy and very safe to say “I want to be a better husband, a better lover or a better father.” How do we truly implement the change to become better in whatever way we would like to improve our relationships? There are two … [Read more...]
This Is For The Married Folks: STUDY YOUR SPOUSE
We study for exams in school. We study for a driving test. We study for a job interview. We study for anything that requires more knowledge than we already have. And why do we study? Because we want to perform well and present ourselves as competent. The same should be true in a relationship. Ladies, we should study the man in our lives. Take notes of his likes and … [Read more...]
Are You Ready To Upgrade Your Marriage?
An upgrade usually occurs when there is a newer or better version of an original available. This term can easily translate into marriage. With a wealth of information available on building healthy relationships and lasting love on the internet, in books and movies, there is really no excuse for couples not to step up their marriage game. If the original model of your marriage … [Read more...]
Don't Do It For The Reward
The types of people I normally appreciate are those who easily give but also quickly shy away from the limelight. These individuals don't require praise or the fanfare. They do what they do because they want to, not because of the reward or acknowledgement that might follow. One of my church members is this kind of person. I adore her because we never hear her complain about … [Read more...]
Would You Cut Off Your Marriage If It Was Your Hand?
After going over some bible verses and catching up on some personal development reading, I recently had a revelation about marriage. Both the institution and my own. I suddenly realized that I was missing a key piece of common sense information that can serve as a guide for me to all but ensure the success of my marriage. And what is this little gold nugget? My marriage and my … [Read more...]
5 Character Defects That Ruin Marriage
When we consider marriage, we hear time and time again about the ingredients that make a marriage work. Love, honesty, trust and communication are a few of those that normally soar to the top of the list. We are also familiar with the actions that lead to the destruction of a marriage. Infidelity, abuse and neglect all go to the top of that list. However, do we ever consider … [Read more...]
2012 – The Year Of No More Excuses!
One of my major pet peeves is when someone struggles with taking responsibility for their own actions and instead formulates excuses as to why they've behaved the way they have. You'll find this same person blaming everyone else rather than admitting they need to change. When there is excuse after excuse and everyone else is to blame, growth is stunted. Throughout the years … [Read more...]
Four Relationship Resolutions You Should Make For 2012
It's almost time for us to countdown to 2012 and think about what's good from 2011 that we'd like to carry over into the new year. I know I grew a lot as a person these past twelve months and my husband and I have a lot of positive momentum pushing us forward. But no matter where you are in your marriage, there is always room for improvement. I did a little thinking and I … [Read more...]
Occupy Your Marriage
Are you active in your marriage, or is it just a relationship status? Are you engaged with your spouse, or did that all go out the window with "I do"? Are you listening to your wife or do you just hear her? Are you talking to your husband or talking at him? Wake up, ladies and gentlemen. It's time to occupy your marriage. Regardless of what you may think of the Occupy protests … [Read more...]
When’s The Last Time You Told Your Spouse, “I Love You”?
When's the last time you told your spouse, "I love you"? When's the last time you said it first, instead of "I love you too"? When's the last time you told your spouse why you love them? When's the last time you did something to make them smile? When was the last time that you took time to plan a nice date with your spouse? When was the last you said, "You know … [Read more...]
Marriage Saving Time: Set The Clock Back On Your Marriage
Daylight Savings Time ended a couple weekends ago, and we all turned our clocks back one hour. The sun is setting earlier, and many of us are winding down sooner. We reset our clocks twice a year, gaining an hour in the fall and losing an hour in the spring. Although these dates change annually, we expect it and adjust our clocks each time. We should do the same in our … [Read more...]
Do Women Typically Work Harder At Keeping A Relationship Alive?
There's a saying that "in every life a little rain must fall." The same is true for a marriage. Those of us married or in a committed relationship should have no trouble admitting there are challenging periods. During those struggles, instead of simply suffering, decisions have to be made and actions should be taken that greatly impact the health of the relationship. During … [Read more...]
Give Each Other The Present
A couple weeks back while on my way to a gala fundraiser I received a text from my wife. She apologized for not being able to attend with me. It wasn't her fault. We were double-booked that night. I was a little disappointed because it would've been an opportunity for us to rub elbows as grown folks do"”something we haven't really been able to do much since moving to our new … [Read more...]
It Comes with the Territory: 10 Things All Couples Should Know and Accept About Marriage
Are you one of those people who after getting married realized there were certain things you wish you had known before saying "I do"? In fact I often hear these conversations in my circle of married friends. I feel like my relationship could've done without a lot of the early drama we had in the beginning, if only I had known certain things. I think part of being a grown up … [Read more...]
Don’t Get Lazy With Marriage
As I may have mentioned before, I assist adults who are looking to transition back into the workforce. Often in that role I find myself offering the same piece of advice in regards to the participant's job search: "Don't get lazy with it." They immediately connect to what I mean and recognize the amount of time, energy and effort needed in order to yield effective results. … [Read more...]